Course material (live)

‌Chapter 5

Meditate your sermon: immersing yourself in the message

A well-known preacher once said: ‘In preparing a sermon, half the time is spent working on the actual sermon. The other half is spent working on the preacher’. God has decreed that His divine Word is conveyed to the world through human words. The preacher is first a listener – who needs to listen well, before he then passes on to others what he has heard. He is a witness who tells what he has seen and experienced when he was listening to God’s Word. Your preparation of your sermon is not over once you have worked out your message and structured it. You are only half way there! One more stage to go before you deliver it – and that is your own personal preparation. The message has to become part of you – something you are living and breathing yourself. Before you take it to the people next Sunday – you need to examine your own reaction to it. Where does it challenge me? Encourage me? Change me?

Absorbing the message

The first step in preparing our sermon is to discover what our message is to be – based on a particular Bible text or passage. The second step is to work out the structure of your message – how you are going to present it in a way that holds the congregation’s interest and speaks directly to them. Now this third step is to absorb the message. Let it sink in – take time to meditate on it. Don’t rush from your study to the pulpit. Make time in your preparation to allow it to touch your heart, because if it touches your own heart – then it will touch the hearts of your hearers.

You have reached the stage where your reference books are shut, you put down your pen and you try to become still before God. You now give time to listening to your own message – and with the help of the Spirit of God, discover what it is saying to you. Although you have already been doing this, almost unconsciously to some extent, as you have been preparing your message, you are now doing this as a definite conscious action. It is doing what Jesus said in Matthew 6:6 about going into your room and locking the door to pray to your

‌Father in secret. You have to create a time and place for God’s Spirit to apply the message of your sermon to your heart. For some this place may be a room in their house. For others, it’s a walk in a wood, a field or a garden. In such places, you can sometimes sense God speaking to you through both His creation and His Word.

By making personal prayer and meditation part of your sermon preparation, you will allow God’s Spirit to breathe life into it. From being a dry skeleton, it will come alive. You go through the sermon guided by God’s Spirit. I would encourage you to actually speak out the sermon with God as your first listener. You pray though every step of the sermon, and get a burden for the message God wants you to deliver. Then you are silent because you know that God will speak to you in this silence. Silence is the secret of meditation. Jesus says in Matthew 10:27: ‘What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the rooftops.’ Meditating on your sermon is listening to God’s whispers and feel how the Spirit sets your soul on fire with the message of your sermon.

How to meditate

Meditation is most effective when you follow a few simple guidelines.

Come to rest. Be still and concentrate. Become aware of the presence of God: ‘He is here, He is here with me, He lives in me.’ Make room for listening to God’s Word in this way.

1. Ask the Holy Spiritfor open ears, open eyes and an open heart.
2. Read your entire sermon slowly. Be conscious of each step. Familiarize yourself with the points of the sermon as well as with what you want to say by speaking your sermon out loud to yourself. Familiarize yourself with the words of the sermon and let them resound in your heart. Do this prayerfully, as if God is looking at sermon over your shoulders. Ask at every of the five steps: Lord, is this
   ‌pleasing to You? Is this what You want me to share?
3. Familiarize yourself with the images of the sermon. How do they affect you? Where are they taking you? Put yourself into the story. Hear, look, taste, feel, smell…
4. Ask yourself questions. How does this sermon move me? Do I feel a resistance, anger, sadness, powerlessness, opposition? Is there something that strikes me that I find beautiful, which makes me glad? Does the message call for a change in my own life?
5. Pray to the Spirit of the Word for renewal of your own life. Does this connect with the Word you have listened to? Surrender yourself to Christ, Who meets you in His Word. Rest in His presence. Bring glory to God.

From heart to heart

While meditating on your sermon you will receive what really matters, the anointing of God’s Spirit. He places your sermon in God’s light and gives you, as the first listener, the first blessing from it. The sermon is now really your sermon; it lives in your heart. Only those who let the sermon really speak to their own hearts by praying and receiving can speak to the hearts of others.

We have now reached the stage where the sermon has to be preached. And there is only one way: with passion! That is what our next chapter is about.

‌Chapter 6

Preach with passion

The sermon and the preacher are well prepared. The time to deliver it has come. Every Sunday thousands of preachers step onto the podium or enter the pulpit to proclaim what they have heard and discovered during the preceding week. Every one of them will have his own style, his own method, depending on their character, temperament, education and talents.

Filled with Compassion

I see the preacher as a witness. Matthew 28 describes the time when Jesus sent out his disciples with the words: ‘You will be my witnesses

…’ When the coming of the Holy Spirit was promised to the apostles, it was for the purpose of empowering them to testify (Acts 1:8). A witness is someone who is called to tell others what he has heard or discovered. A witness is a compassionate person. He is moved by what he has to say and you notice it. There is passion and fire in him. This is very important for the preacher. Some preachers tend to hide their personal feelings behind impressive words and beautifully constructed sentences. But in preaching the primary objective is not to impress with style, but to touch, persuade and convince. The compassion of the preacher plays a major role in this.

Paul expresses this perfectly in 1 Corinthians 2:4: ‘My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but in demonstration of the Spirit’s power.’ In preaching, words are one of our tools. But these words need something else to be really effective. They need to be ‘anointed with the power of the Spirit’ as they are spoken. We should not be so concerned about speaking beautiful words, but inspired words, life giving words that are delivered in a life giving way. That doesn’t mean you should jump around or use wild gestures as you preach. Not only are you ‘full of the word’ – you are full of the Holy Spirit. Being ‘full of the Spirit’ comes from the Greek ‘theos’, which is where we get the word ‘enthusiastic’. If you are really enthusiastic about the message, people will definitely notice it. This enthusiasm is far more

‌important than how clever you are, or how refined and genteel you are. You should be real, be yourself, be filled.

This enthusiasm, this passion is really a passion for Jesus. Don’t be fooled. Passion is not necessarily about raising the voice, making extravagant gestures, or strutting to and fro on the platform. Its presence is revealed in the eyes. They are the mirror of the soul. That’s why having eye contact with the congregation is so important. People see in your eyes and hear in your voice what lives in you, and they can detect whether you have that passion or not. When it is there – and pray God it is, then the message comes across much more powerfully.

Principles of Presentation

Our ambition should be that we do not ‘get in the way’ of our message. By that I mean we should not hinder the effective communication of our sermon. We really need to ‘be ourselves’. So below are some of the basic principles of effective presentation.

When preaching it is important to make contact with your listeners and develop a ‘dialogue’ with them. There has to be two way communication. Encourage them to make some sort of response, rather than just sit there passively. Ask them a question. ‘Do you understand that?’ ‘Is that your experience?’ When they answer back, or nod or shake their heads – you know you have made contact with them and are having ‘dialogue’. A sermon is really a monologue within a dialogue.

In choosing the place where you speak, make sure that there are as few barriers as possible between you and the congregation. Speaking to people from behind a table or enclosed in a pulpit creates an atmosphere that is entirely different from that created by speaking from an open space. Many people like to have a table in front of them as it provides support and gives them somewhere to place their notes or, if they are nervous, something to hold on to. Speaking from an open space says ‘this preacher is honest – he has nothing to hide’. Furthermore, it allows greater freedom to express

‌yourself, and adjust your position (but do avoid pacing backwards and forwards). This all helps make the presentation much more engaging and interesting. Try to avoid high, closed pulpits or rostrums as much as possible – you really cut yourself off from the people.

Eye contact

When having a conversation with someone, the amount of eye contact you have plays a crucial part in how the conversation goes. It’s really no different when speaking in public, even though you are addressing a larger group of people. By making eye contact with your audience you will get a clear indication of how you are coming across. Having eye contact with someone who is listening attentively (and their body language shows it too as they lean forward and smile or nod in agreement) can really encourage you.

At ease

When you are preaching in front of a group, try and be conscious of the overall space you are in, and of the people in it. Make sure you look all around you as you speak – not leaving any part left out. Look up and out. Your audience needs to know you are looking at them so that they will feel involved and take in what you are saying.

Take time when you speak – don’t rush. If you are tense, your sense of time will become distorted. It will feel as though time is passing more slowly – so you will end up rushing. Being at ease is really important in preaching. If you are not, you will make the audience feel uncomfortable and tense. They will sense your nervousness, and become nervous for you. So here are a few tips to help you be at ease:

1. If you are breathing to much in and out because you are nervous, there is this little trick that will help you regain control over your breathing: just move your toes in your shoes up and down. This will lower your attention and by that will lower your breathing from your chest to your belly and by that will bring rest again.
2. ‌Stand with your feet slightly apart and firmly on the ground. Some people when they are nervous hop from one leg to another.
3. Most important advice for preachers and public speakers: know what you want to say, believe with all your heart what you are going to say and long to tell it to the people in front you. If your motivation is right, everything will be all right. Trust God, He is the One who called you, has sent you and will guide you!

‌Part 3 :

Teach me your way

‌Part 3 : Teach me your way

Introduction. 106

1. The teaching of the Christian Church. 107
2. I believe. 110
3. I believe in God the Father 112
4. The omnipotent Creator of heaven and earth. 115
5. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. 118
6. I believe in Jesus Christ, who suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried;
   he descended into hell. 121
7. I believe in Jesus Christ, who on the third day rose again from the dead, ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty, from which He will return to judge the
   living and the dead. 123
8. I believe in the Holy Spirit. 127
9. I believe in one holy, apostolic, Christian church. 130
10. I believe in the forgiveness of sins. 133
11. I believe in the resurrection of
    the body and life everlasting. 135
12. Introduction to the Ten Commandments. 138
13. The first commandment:
    no other gods besides God. 141
14. The second commandment:
    do not worship God in your own way 143
15. The third commandment:
    do not negate God’s name. 145
16. The fourth commandment:
    a foretaste of the Kingdom. 147
17. The fifth commandment:

honour your parents. 149

1. ‌The sixth commandment:
   do not murder 152
2. The seventh commandment:
   do not destroy a marriage. 154
3. The eighth commandment:
   do not keep everything for yourself 156
4. The ninth commandment:
   do not gossip. 158
5. The tenth commandment:
   do not covet what belongs to someone else. 160
6. Our Father – Introduction 162
7. Daddy 165
8. God first. 166
9. Build Your kingdom. 167
10. Your will be done. 169
11. Pray for everyday things. 171
12. Confessing guilt. 173
13. Temptation 175

‌Introduction to part 3:

Teach me your way

This part is about the third word of advice Jethro offers Moses, in which he says: ‘show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave’ (Exodus 18:20). Here, Jethro is talking about the task of teaching the people of God. Teaching focuses on the practical application in daily life of that which has been preached. In the Bible, teaching always centres on practising what we preach.

In the worldwide church, this teaching is known as discipleship. How can we live our lives as disciples of Jesus? How can we grow in following Christ? What does it mean to be a child of the Father? These things require knowledge of what the faith is really all about, and instruction as to how to put this knowledge into practice day by day. Discipleship combines our creed with our conduct; it deals with what we believe and what we do. That is what this part of the Pastors’ Manual is all about: what do you teach your people in order to help them grow as disciples of Jesus. You can present the many questions in this section to your congregation when you teach them these lessons and you can also use them to go deeper into these lessons yourself.

‌Chapter 1

The teaching of the Christian Church

If we want to catch a glimpse of what God meant his church to be like, the best place to look is the early Christian church. Right after the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Jerusalem on the day of Pentecost, a large group of about 3,000 people came to faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 2:41). They were baptised and began to come together in a large number of home churches. Led by the Spirit, they practised discipleship together. They functioned the way Jesus wants his church to function.

Acts 2:42-47 tells us what they did after they had come to faith and had started serving Jesus together. The first thing we read about them is that they ‘devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching‘ (Acts 2:42). The first thing the Spirit led them to do was to learn. You might say that on that day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit opened a school in Jerusalem with 3,000 students, and the twelve apostles as their teachers.

The Bible often calls the Holy Spirit the ‘Spirit of truth’. Where the Spirit of truth is at work, there is a focus on discovering the truth. And it turns out the Spirit used apostles for this purpose. They had sat at the feet of Jesus, and now the believers were to sit at the feet of the apostles, to learn from them. The apostles’ teachings were handed down to us in the New Testament. This means we, too, can discover God’s truth. What a privilege it is to be enrolled in the school of the Holy Spirit. Teaching is very important for the church. Acts 2:42 shows us that a living church, first of all, is a learning church!

The apostolic teachings have been preserved and passed on since the days of the apostles. Throughout the entire history of the church, certain central themes that sum up the teachings of the Bible keep recurring. You could say that the teachings of the church of Christ centre on three major themes. Those who came to faith in the early church were instructed in these themes before being

‌baptised and accepted as members of the congregation. The themes form a triad: faith-obedience-prayer. In the great revival of the church in the West following the Middle Ages, also known as the Reformation, these themes were restored to their central position. They point believers to the heart of the Christian faith and of living with Jesus.

Faith

The first theme is ‘faith’. Every believer should have a clear understanding of what faith really involves and what it is, precisely, that we believe. It is important for your own life with God, but it is also important as you face a world that does not believe. You cannot give account of your faith (1 Peter 3:15) if you don’t have the words, if you lack a clear understanding of what you believe about God and why. This is why the first theme in Christian teaching centres on the faith we adhere to as Christians. This teaching is based on the oldest and most well-known summary of the Christian faith: the Apostles’ Creed.

Obedience

Christian teaching does not merely focus on knowledge, but also on learning to walk with God, to actually follow Jesus obediently. The best way to stay close to him and to remain in his love is to keep his commands. Jesus says this himself in John 15:9-10. The Ten Commandments, in particular, were given to show the people of Israel and the church of Christ how to stay close to God’s heart and within his will. Jesus says he did not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets, but to fulfil them (Matthew 5:17). These are the laws given to teach God’s people and the church of Jesus how to live in a loving relationship with God and our neighbour. So if you wish to put the Apostles’ Creed into practice, you will need the Ten Commandments. For this reason, we will look more closely at the Ten Commandments in the second section of this book on Christian teaching. TheBible offers a wonderful promise to those who instruct others in the Ten Commandments: ‘but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven‘ (Matthew 5:19b).

‌Prayer

The third central theme in Christian teaching is ‘prayer’. A Christian has his daily life with God, in which he makes choices that are different from those made by non-believers. But on top of that, he also enjoys spiritual communion with God. Every believer who desires to stay close to Jesus must have this personal fellowship with God in order to keep the faith and to grow in it. It is the same in marriage: on top of the daily routine of living together, you need to have regular moments in your relationship when you look into one another’s eyes and share what is on your heart. Jesus talks about going into your room to spend time in personal prayer with the heavenly Father (Matthew 6:6). Prayer is the key element in your spiritual life. It is vital for every believer to learn to lead a life of prayer. When the disciples asked Jesus: ‘Lord, teach us to pray‘, Jesus answered by teaching them the Lord’s Prayer. This is why in this book we will be looking at our spiritual walk through the lens of the Lord’s Prayer.

This triad of themes – faith, obedience, prayer – offers us a biblical foundation for expounding the basic tenets of the Christian faith, the daily following of Christ, and spiritual communion with God in the church of Christ.

‌Chapter 2

I believe…

Apostles’ Creed

I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit

and born of the virgin Mary.

He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; he descended to hell.

The third day he rose again from the dead.

He ascended to heaven

and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty. From there he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy, apostolic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.

What is believing?

Before looking at what we believe as Christians with the Apostolic Creed, we must ask ourselves what it actually means to believe. The Apostles’ Creed begins with the words ‘I believe…‘ An old book on reformed doctrine, the Heidelberg Catechism, puts it this way (in my own words):

To believe is not only to know for certain that what the Bible says is true, but also to trust that through the suffering and death of Jesus my sins are forgiven and I am a child of God for ever. The Holy Spirit places this trust in my heart.

Assignment: Memorise those two sentences!

‌To believe, then, is a matter of the mind, of our thinking. To believe is to know for certain. It is a deep assurance that when you are reading the Bible you are not reading some random book written by humans, but that straight through the words, cultures and history it reflects, God is speaking to you. You read the Bible and you know God is speaking to you directly.

But unlike Islam, the Christian faith is not a book religion. At the centre of our faith we do not find a book, but we find the One to whom our Holy Scriptures testify. Luther said, ‘Holy Scripture is the crib in which Jesus lies.’ Jesus Himself put it this way: ‘You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to Me to have life‘ (John 5:39). The Bible is the most common route by which God comes to us. God makes himself known to usthrough his Word. His purpose is not for us to worship the Bible, but to follow Jesus, who speaks to us in the Bible, offering us His love.

But faith is more than having certainty about God and the Bible. It also means trusting firmly that God loves not only other people, but you, too. To believe is to be touched by the love of Jesus, to receive the invitation He holds out to you in the Bible and to say ‘yes’ to it. Believing is daring to take the leap: it means jumping into the outstretched arms of God, the way a child jumps into his father’s arms. To believe is to entrust yourself, heart and soul, to God. It means giving your life to Him, so that He can save you, change you and lead you. So faith is not just a deep conviction about the Bible being the Word of God, it also means responding to God’s love with your whole heart and soul.

‌Chapter 3

I believe in God the Father

In the Bible, God has made Himself known to us. To find out who God is, we can look at the names He uses to introduce himself. The first name we come across is Yahweh. God uses this name to present himself to Moses in Exodus 3. It means ‘I am who I am’, or ‘I will always be.’ The name tells us that God is faithful and will always be with us, no matter what. Another name is Adonai, which suggests God is our Lord, our Master. He is the Creator, we belong to him. In Psalm 100:3, the psalmist sings about this: ‘It is he who made us, and we are his.’ Another name for God in the Bible is El Shaddai, the Almighty. This name tells us that God knows no boundaries, no limitations, all is subject to his power: the angels, creation, mankind, and also Satan and his demons. God will always have the final say. The Lord reigns!

Father

The name most commonly used for God is Father. It begins back in the Old Testament, for instance in Isaiah 63:16: ‘But you are our Father, though Abraham does not know us or Israel acknowledge us; you, LORD, are our Father, our Redeemer from of old is your name.’ In this text, the fatherhood of God is linked to His role as protector. A father represents safety and protection. With God we are secure, He will not lose control.

But it is the New Testament, especially, that reveals God the Father to us – through Jesus. Jesus calls God his Father, He is God’s Son. The wonderful gospel message is that through Jesus whoever believes in God will be adopted as His child. Paul exclaims this in Romans 8:15 and 16: ‘…the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by Him we cry, “Abba, Father”. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.’ God is Father, and this name reflects His love, protection, care and guidance throughout our lives. A father stands for authority and love. God is placed above us, but is also with us in everything. A father will do anything for his child. This is why God says: ‘Call me Father‘

‌(Jeremiah 3:19). It is important to remember that God is not like an earthly father, but that earthly fathers must seek to be like God the Father!

The Father of Jesus Christ longs to be my Father also. By his grace I may become His precious son or daughter, just as Jesus is. Jesus loves me as much as God loves his Son Jesus (John 15:9).

Trinity

The fact that God calls himself Father and Jesus introduces himself as God’s Son leads us to another important fact we must know about God. In the church we call it the Trinity. God has revealed Himself as the only and unique God. There is no other god beside him. In Deuteronomy 6:4, Moses, speaking on behalf of God, puts it as follows: ‘Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one.’ So there is only one God. Yet the Bible speaks of the Father, the Son and the Spirit. All three are God. They are inseparable, a unity, and yet they are three ‘persons’. From the very start, the church has struggled to find words for this mystery. It is a beautiful revelation given to us by God. The Father, the Son and the Spirit all have our salvation and renewal in mind – each in his own way. We will never be able to capture God in a system, but the Bible does reveal something of this mystery to us. Perhaps the most beautiful glimpse we are given of the Holy Trinity is at the baptism of Jesus in the river Jordan (Matthew 3:16-17): ‘As soon as Jesus was baptised, He went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on Him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.”’ These three persons are so united that wherever the Father is, the Son and the Spirit are also.

Part 3 : Teach me your way – Chapter 3 I believe in God the Father 113

Perhaps you could compare the Trinity to the fingers on your hand: they are all different and can do different things, yet together they make up a single hand, they are inseparable. In the same manner, the Father, theSon and the Spirit are one. So they are not three different gods, but one God who has manifested himself to us in three ‘persons’: God the Father above us, God the Son beside us, and

‌God the Spirit within us. The more we get to know God and see His greatness and glory as Father, Son and Spirit, the more we realize we will never in our earthly lives grasp this, that all we can do is sing His praises, as Paul does: ‘to the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ! Amen‘ (Romans 16:27).

‌Chapter 4

The omnipotent Creator of heaven and earth

Omnipotence

The confession of the church regarding God the Father is that He is omnipotent. No one stands above Him and all things are subject to His sovereignty. Nothing is impossible with God. This is demonstrated in two main ways: we see God’s power in the creation of heaven and earth, and we see God’s power in his unending care for us.

In Genesis 1, we read about how God created the heavens and the earth. To create, literally, means to make something from nothing. In Genesis 1, we see God’s creation gradually unfold. He begins with separating the heavens from the earth. The earth, at first, was a kind of formless substance. In the next phase, God began to give form and content to the earth. In a period of six days God then created our entire reality. God created a universe so great and so beautiful that we now know that even with all the knowledge we have amassed, we have only discovered a tiny fraction of the whole. Also, His creation is so complex and ingenious that every new discovery arouses a new sense of amazement in us.

Because of our inability to grasp it all, people look for all kinds of rational explanations. However, Hebrews 11:3 clearly states that only ‘by faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command.’ God spoke and it came into being. The Bible does not offer a historical, physical or biological account. The creation story was never meant as a scientific report. It was written as a confession of faith, a song of praise to the Creator in which His creative acts are confessed. Genesis 1 and 2 show us the bigger picture, which is quite clear throughout Scripture: God created this reality, he created space and time with the purpose of dwelling with us, His people. And He allows us to share in His love. Earth was prepared for us, so that, like Adam and Eve, we might live on this earth and walk with God upon it. We are to ‘work it and take care of it‘ (Genesis 2:15) and to enjoy its beauty and its fruits.

‌The fall

The great drama of history is that this good creation was broken by the fall of man. Adam and Eve, being tempted by Satan, desired to become like God. From that moment on, there is a fissure running through all of reality, separating God and us and separating people from one another; it even runs through each person’s individual life. What was once harmonious and full of love is now damaged and broken. But right after the fall God demonstrated that He is not only loving, but also remains faithful forever. He did not let go of His plan for mankind and creation. He continues, straight through the brokenness of sin and death, to move toward the fulfilment of His purposes with all creation. And His purpose is that one day we will be with Him in a perfect world, in His kingdom that will have no end. There, God will be ‘all in all‘ (1 Corinthians 15:28). Because God did not want to let go of sinful man and our broken world, but wanted to repair the damage, He sent his Son. Even to this day, God remains faithful to what He created. This is the second way in which we see His omnipotence: He cares for us and is leading His creation towards His eternal kingdom.

God and suffering

God’s ongoing care for His people and His creation is wonderfully comforting. But it also often raises difficult questions. God’s faithfulness means He will not let go of this world or of me, and that ultimately He holds everything in His hands. This comforts me at times when I feel evil rules this world, or that sickness and death have the final word, that persecution and violence and poverty have free rein. No, says Jesus in Matthew 10:29-31: ‘Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth morethan many sparrows.’ This is deeply comforting when we are going through trials we do not understand, or times of pain and suffering. God is faithful, He is there. Yet at the same time, we want God to use his omnipotence to solve our problems for us, to spare us difficulties…

If God is all-powerful, why doesn’t He end all the suffering and

‌brokenness we see? The Bible tells us two things about this. First, it shows us how God, all through history, carries out His own plan with the people of Israel. He keeps the bigger picture in view, and His involvement with His creation and His people continues, even when we cannot see it. When the people of Israel were slaves in Egypt, and later when they were exiled and all seemed lost, they sorrowfully hung their harps on the willows. But again and again, God proves Himself faithful to His promises and carries on. We often do not know why we must go through the depths, but we do know that in these depths God is fulfilling His purposes. We see this throughout the whole Bible.

The clearest evidence we have of God’s faithfulness to us is Jesus. Rather than leaving us to save ourselves, or each other, God sent his Son. If there is one place and time in history that reveals God’s faithfulness and care for us more than any other, it is when Jesus was hanging on the cross. Jesus did not come merely to share in our brokenness and suffering, but also to give us a way out. He led the way through suffering and death to God’s kingdom for all who believe in Him. Thanks to Jesus and together with Him, we can endure suffering on this earth. We know that with Him we can make it – and that one day there will be an end to sin, suffering and death. A new and glorious morning will dawn. A day of eternal joy in God’s kingdom. All will be perfect. This earth will once again be perfect, our lives will be perfect, all will be well. God is faithful, He will care for us and guide us, even if we do not always see or understand what is going on. He will not abandon the works of His hands!

‌Chapter 5

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord

The life, death and resurrection of Jesus are described in the four gospels. The first three – Matthew, Mark and Luke – form a unity, as each one offers a brief biography of Jesus. Each of these three writers does this in his own way and his own style, with distinctive emphases and with his own group of readers in mind. While these three focus primarily on the words and actions of Jesus and the events that marked His life, the gospel of John is more meditative, taking more time to reflect on Christ’s words, actions and experiences.

Son of God

The first statement the church makes about Jesus in its Apostles’ Creed is that He is the Son of God. Jesus is God. But the words ‘only’ emphasise the uniqueness of the relationship between God and Jesus: they are in and of each other, they belong to each other, and they are one with the Holy Spirit. There is a bond of love between Father and Son. We find this echoed in John 3:16: ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.’ Nothing is more precious and glorious than the love between the Father and the Son. This makes it all the more incomprehensible that God let his beloved Son go in order to save us!

We also catch a glimpse of their relationship at Jesus’ baptism in the river Jordan and at his transfiguration on the mountain. God speaks audibly from heaven, saying: ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased‘ (Matthew 3:17). Jesus is God’s Son, and throughout his earthly life he remained fully God. At times this fact was quite evident, for instance in the miracles he performed, in the authority with which he spoke, when he calmed the sea, in his knowledge of people’s thoughts, and in his power over demons, who recognised him as God’s Son. In John 14:30, Jesus himself says that ‘the prince of this world‘, the devil, has no hold over him. He is stronger and mightier than Satan.

‌Fully human

The wonder of it all is that Jesus deliberately laid down His divine glory, which regularly shines through in His words and actions. God knew we could not save ourselves from the power of sin and death. Because of this, someone without sin was needed to free us from captivity, someone willing to join sides with us. What was needed was someone willing to descend to the depths to which we have sunk as human beings. You cannot normally save a drowning person without jumping into the water yourself. This is what Jesus did for us.

Paul rejoices in this in Philippians 2:6-8: ‘Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!’ The Son of God, the King of kings and Lord of lords, became a human being like us. But it did not make him any less the Son of God. A king who takes up his abode in a slum and begins to live, think and feel like a pauper is still a king, even if no one recognises him as such.

Conceived by the Spirit, born of the virgin Mary

Jesus remained God’s Son throughout his earthly life, yet he also became truly human, sharing in our feelings, thoughts, sorrows and disappointments. We cannot go far enough in imagining Jesus’ manhood. This is why the church, in the Apostles’ Creed, confesses that Jesus was ‘conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, and born of the virgin Mary.’ It was God’s work, He is of divine descent, yet He was born in the flesh, just as every other human being is born in this world. As a man, He was as vulnerable as we are, He grew up like we do, played like our children do, went to the toilet, washed Himself, knew hunger and thirst, could laugh and have fun or cry, or get angry. And… until the outpouring of the Holy Spirit at His baptism in the Jordan, He wasunable to perform miracles or other unusual acts. Jesus speaks about this in John 5:19: ‘Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by Himself...’ As long as God’s Spirit did not empower Him, Jesus remained powerless on earth – that’s how human, how

‌dependent He was. All the signs and miracles attributed to Him were performed in the power of the Spirit God had given Him.

If there is one place and time in which we see just how human He was during his lifetime here on earth, it is in Gethsemane. There His soul was ‘overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death‘ (Matthew 26:38) and He begged his disciples to stay with Him, confessing to them that ‘the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak‘ (Matthew 26:41). At this time He also begged his Father: ‘if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me‘ (Matthew 26:39). Jesus was so afraid that at that moment He wished he could abandon the road He was on. Even so He surrendered to his Father, saying, ‘Yet not as I will, but as you will‘ (Matthew 26:39). In Luke’s gospel, we read that He then continued on the road of suffering and was in so much anguish that ‘His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground‘ (Luke 22:44). Jesus is completely human and as such undergoes His sufferings on our behalf.

This same Jesus, all God and all man, we worship as our Lord. He who gave His life for us, choosing to become a man in order to save us, is the one to whom we entrust ourselves in this life and for all eternity. We invite Him to direct our paths and to lead us. He is everything to us.

‌Chapter 6

I believe in Jesus Christ, who suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell

The heart of the message of the Bible is that God, in His amazing love for us, decided to reconcile the world and mankind to himself following the separation caused by sin. He will save us and restore us to the purpose for which he originally created us. That purpose was and is for us – and for all of creation – to live peacefully and joyfully with God, each other and all other created things. We cannot save ourselves from the power of sin. Neither could Israel, by keeping God’s commands. Therefore, God Himself had to come over to our side and pay the debt. The Judge has paid the penalty He Himself imposed! Paul expresses this beautifully in 2 Corinthians 5:19: ‘God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them.’

Redemption from our sins

The road of reconciliation that Jesus travelled for God and for us was a road of humiliation, suffering, death and descent into hell. It is the road each person living without God would eventually have to travel. He died for me, so that I may now live with God. The suffering and death of Jesus were not just physical. He suffered most from taking upon Him the punishment for sin. This punishment is that we should be cut off from God for ever. This is why Jesus’ suffering is at its most intense when we hear Him cry out on the cross: ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?‘ (Matthew 27:46). At that moment, all our sins were laid upon His shoulders, He carried with Him all the evil of this world. He who had been declared innocent by Pontius Pilate took our guilt in order to pay for it with his own life on the cross.

Isaiah prophesied about Jesus as the ‘suffering servant’ in Isaiah 53:5, saying: ‘he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.’ In this way Jesus travelled the road of suffering and dying without God, in our place. But as he was

‌about to die, He knew He was to triumph over sin, the devil and death. So He called out: ‘It is finished!’ Reconciliation between God and man was now a fact, the debt had been paid, it was over. With that cry on His lips, Jesus died, committing His spirit into the hands of His Father. Jesus died because He chose to take our death upon Himself. He was buried in order to break through the finality of the grave, which always seems to have the last word.

In its confession of Jesus’ suffering and death, the church also states that He descended into hell. This means that no matter how low we may sink, no matter how badly the powers of hell may torment us, we need never be without Jesus. In Psalm 139:8, David sings about this: ‘If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths (of hell), you are there.’

Overcoming evil

Through His suffering and death, Jesus restored our relationship with God, opening the way to life for all who believe in him. But something else happened on the cross as well: it was there that He overcame the power of the devil and the power of sin. Since His death on Calvary, the devil no longer holds our lives in his power. We may still feel his power and notice the presence of sin, but with Jesus we can resist and overcome the devil and sin. Paul says in Romans 6:11-12: ‘In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.‘ Ever since Jesus’ victory on the cross, we have the freedom to choose. Through Him and with Him we can really resist and overcome sinful thoughts, words and actions. We are no longer slaves to the power of sin, but we are children of God. It is no longer sin that rules over our lives, but Jesus. As we become aware of this and entrust ourselvesto Him, we will discover that we can indeed ‘overcome evil with good‘ (Romans 12:21). In this way, Jesus, through His suffering and death, has the final word in our lives!

‌Chapter 7

I believe in Jesus Christ, who on the third day rose again from the dead, ascended into heaven,

and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty, from which He will return to judge

the living and the dead

Risen from the dead

After Jesus spent three days in the grave, the greatest and most beautiful miracle ever took place. This miracle was the turning point in the history of mankind and the world. Jesus Christ rose from the dead! If that had not happened, our sins would have been forgiven thanks to the cross, but we would have remained captive for ever to our old way of life. But Jesus’ resurrection marked the beginning of a new life with God. The Bible speaks of a new creation. In 2 Corinthians 5:17, Paul says: (‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!’.) This ‘new’ life is a life anchored in God’s love and power, a life through the Holy Spirit. It is a life in which the peace and joy of the kingdom are already manifested.

Jesus did not rise on this side of the grave, but on ‘the other side’. He did not rise like Lazarus did, to carry on living as before. He rose as a new creation, with a body created for eternity, no longer restricted by time and space. That’s why He could be here one moment and somewhere else the next. It explains how He could enter a room through a closed door (John 20:19). Jesus’ resurrection marked the beginning of the new life with God, a life no longer subject to sin and death, but led by God’s Spirit. It is a life with Jesus that begins here and will continue for all eternity. To us who believe, death is no longer a wall at which every life is brought to a halt, but a doorway into a glorious future with God.

This is why the church rejoices so much on Easter morning. Jesus triumphed over death, God raised him to a new life with Himself that morning. Through the ages this fact has been denied by many, including the Jewish leaders of Jesus’ day. But the many

‌eyewitnesses who testified to his resurrection were not lying. And we who believe in Jesus are aware every day that He is not dead, but alive and reigning.

In 1 Corinthians 15, Pauls deals extensively with the resurrection, explaining why it is so wonderful for us. In verse 20, he writes: ‘But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the first fruit of those who have fallen asleep.‘ For us who believe, Jesus’ resurrection means that we, too, will one day rise from the dead – not after three days, but when Jesus returns. On Easter morning, many believers go to cemeteries to stand among the gravestones singing and rejoicing in the resurrection. One day, on the new earth, we will have resurrection bodies like Jesus has, Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 15. We will be recognisable, but we will no longer experience limitations or commit sins.

Thanks to Jesus’ resurrection from the dead, we can experience that new life with him today. It is an amazing and wonderful experience to sense a peace within your heart that surpasses understanding. To have a deep joy in the midst of brokenness. These are foretastes of the future awaiting us. The victory has been secured, but God’s full restoration of creation has not yet been completed. This is why our life with Jesus has its ups and downs, and we still often stumble.

Ascended into heaven

Forty days after His resurrection, Jesus went back to heaven, saying goodbye to His disciples. But Jesus had told them before: ‘it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you’ (John 16:7). This Advocate, or Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit, can live in each person’s heart.

Jesus’ ascension was a farewell for His disciples, but also a glorious entry for Him into heaven. Before He ascended, Jesus said that all authority in heaven and on earth had been given to Him by the Father (Matthew 28:18). Revelation 5 shows us what this means. Having been banned to the island of Patmos, John had a vision in which he heard a voice proclaiming in heaven: ‘Who is worthy to

‌break the seals and open the scroll?’ (verse 2). This is the scroll containing God’s wonderful plan for creation and for mankind, the plan of God’s kingdom. But the question is followed by silence. No one is able to release this kingdom. At that moment, Jesus appears before John’s eyes and before the throne of God. It is the moment of Jesus’ ascension and He appears as ‘a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain’ (verse 6). Then come these beautiful words: ‘He (the Lamb) went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne’ (verse 7). Jesus ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of God, from where He reigns over heaven and earth and is busy establishing the kingdom of God, in people, in churches and in more and more places all over the world.

Jesus is the conqueror, He reigns. As of yet, His reign remains hidden: He guides our lives, leads His church and rules over the world, but His rule is not immediately visible. He reigns in a broken world, in which sin, sickness, death and Satan continue to wreak havoc. But through it all, He will have His way with us and with the church. He even said in a parable that the good seed and the weeds will grow up together until the harvest (Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43).

Jesus’ return

The day of harvest will be the day on which Jesus returns to judge the living and the dead. This judgement of the world and of all people will be the final step preceding the breakthrough of His kingdom. Jesus says two things about this judgement. First, we read in John 3:18 that whoever believes in him will not be condemned. Jesus underwent that condemnation in our place on the cross. When Jesus returns as Judge, we will see that our Judge is also our Saviour! Of course, this does not mean we can live any way we want. When he judges the living and the dead, Jesus will want to know whether we took his love and grace seriously. This is stated clearly in 1 Corinthians 3:10-15, where Paul teaches us that Jesus is the foundation of our eternal life. So it is certain that we will enter God’s kingdom, but the state in which different people enter will vary. At the final judgement, God will look at how we handled the love and grace we received from Jesus and how it affected our lives. Did we

‌take Jesus seriously, was He able to give us much of his Spirit, or not? Did we allow Him to lead us in what we did and didn’t do? This is what Paul means when he speaks of building with gold, silver and costly stones, or wood, hay and straw.

James (2:26) tells us faith without works is dead. If we believe, we must put our faith into practice in daily life. Matthew 25 shows us what God desires to see in us: feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, taking in strangers, clothing the naked, visiting sick people and prisoners. Jesus says: ‘Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me’ (Matthew 25:40).

‌Chapter 8

I believe in the Holy Spirit

From the very first page of the Bible we read about the Holy Spirit. ‘The Spirit of God was hovering over the waters’, it says in Genesis 1:2. In the Old Testament we often encounter the Spirit, but He manifests himself exclusively to small numbers of people, and usually only for short periods of time. For example, the designers of the tabernacle, groups of prophets, Samson, King Saul and King David. God’s Spirit gives these people insight into what is happening or what is going to happen. He gives them wisdom for a certain task or equips them to perform a specific assignment. The Spirit shows up here and there, now and then, sporadically.

Pentecost

That changes radically in the New Testament. Jesus told His disciples it was a good thing He was going back to heaven, because it meant the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, the Counsellor, could come. He is always with us. And at His ascension, Jesus instructed His disciples to wait in Jerusalem for the coming of the Holy Spirit, saying: ‘you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth’ (Acts 1:8).

Fifty days after Easter, during the great harvest feast in the temple in Jerusalem, the Holy Spirit appears. Then God’s purposes on earth and with us becomes clear. For one thing, the Spirit now no longer appears sporadically, but there is an outpouring. Ever since the first day of Pentecost, the Spirit of God has no longer been only for Israel and a few other individuals, but He moves throughout the whole world, touching people everywhere and causing them to come to faith in Jesus. Whoever believes receives the Holy Spirit, for ‘no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit’ (1 Corinthians 12:3). The moment a person receives the Spirit, his or her body becomes a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). That means the Spirit of God dwells within us, seeking to change us from the inside out, to the glory of God. He helps us become more and more like Jesus!

‌Jesus says this about the work of the Spirit in us: ‘He will not speak on His own; He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come. He will glorify me because it is from Me that He will receive what He will make known to you’ (John 16:13-14). The sole purpose of the Spirit, then, is more of Jesus in our lives. In the church we call this ‘sanctification’. He helps us to recognise and confess our sins, to really focus on God in all aspects of our lives, to be one with Jesus. We can do none of that in our own strength, so the Spirit helps us.

How? The Bible offers several clues. It starts with the feast of Pentecost, when the Spirit´s appearance is accompanied by wind, fire and many languages. The Spirit is like the wind, Jesus tells us in John 3: ‘You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going’ (verse 8). You can tell the Spirit of God has touched you by the fact that you begin to read the Bible differently, to pray differently, to love Jesus more and more.

The second sign of the Spirit at the feast of Pentecost was the appearance of tongues of fire on the heads of the disciples. The Spirit sets us ablaze, He ignites the love of God within us. Listen to what the disciples said who met Jesus on their journey to Emmaus following His resurrection: ‘Were not our hearts burning within us?‘ (Luke 24:32) That is the work of the Spirit.

The third thing that happened on the feast of Pentecost was that the disciples began to ‘declare the wonders of God’ in ‘other tongues’ (Acts 2). The Spirit enabled them to communicate the gospel of Jesus, God’s Word, clearly and comprehensibly.

Filled with the Spirit

The Spirit, then, makes sure that everything Jesus did for us becomes reality in our lives. The Spirit is given to all believers, yet not every believer is full of Jesus. How can this be? It is because we can grieve, quench or resist the Spirit (see, for example, Ephesians 4:30). David did this once by sinning with Bathsheba. In Psalm 51, he laments this period in his life and pleads with God: ‘Do not cast me from your

‌presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me’ (verses 11-12).

So it is possible to drive the Spirit away from your life. If that has happened, the only means of restoration is to confess your guilt and ask for forgiveness. There were two signs telling David the Spirit was absent from his life. First, there was no joy in his heart – that deep joy of knowing you’re a child of the Father and that in God you have been given all you need. The Spirit gives that joy. Second, David missed a steadfast spirit. This means being free of doubt and fear, because you know nothing can separate you from the love of Christ – that he is with you and will carry you, no matter what you’re going through. The Spirit shows us these things. And these are the things David missed.

The fullness of the Spirit is available to everyone who asks for it and reaches out for it. Paul offers some advice on this in Galatians 6. Having spoken of the fruit the Spirit cultivates in our lives (Galatians 5:22), he says: ‘Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life’ (Galatians 6:8). Sowing to please the Spirit means investing in your relationship with Jesus. The Spirit will then see to it that what you sow by reading the Bible, praying or talking about God, will bear fruit in your life. You will discover what Jesus meant when he said: ‘Remain in me, as I also remain in you’ (John 15:4).

‌Chapter 9

I believe in one holy, apostolic, Christian church

Right after the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, the people who had come to faith in Jesus started to meet together. In Jerusalem they formed the first congregation of believers, and the Christian church became a fact. In Acts 2:42-47, we read how these first, Spirit-filled believers lived. Their story shows us the characteristics of a church of Christ. One of the first points mentioned is that they ‘devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship’ (Acts 2:42). Their faith in Jesus brought them together and they felt a deep bond. Paul often uses the image of a body to discuss this feature. Christ is the head, we are the body. In a human body, all the different parts are interconnected and interdependent. It is the same with the church: every member matters, no member is less needed than others (1 Corinthians 12:12-27). This is in keeping with Jesus’ appeal to His disciples to love each other (John 15:17).

The church is one

The first Christians got together almost daily. Three things stood out in their fellowship: they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the breaking of bread and to prayer (Acts 2:42). Preaching and biblical teaching were central features, then, along with the celebration of communion and intensive times of prayer. These are still the characteristics of the Church of Christ today, no matter where in the world it is situated: biblical preaching and teaching, joint prayer and the celebration of the sacraments.

Another characteristic of the first church is that ‘all the believers were together and had everything in common’ (Acts 2:44). They really looked after each other, avoiding gross economic inequality among the members. The rich sold property and possessions to give to those in need (verse 45). This is how the Church of Jesus is meant to be: a place where people care for one another, bear one another’s burdens and share in each other’s joys and sorrows (1 Corinthians 12:26). So the church is not made up of people who all belong to the same social class, ethnic group or culture. The family of God, the

‌body of Christ, is characterised by tremendous diversity and colourfulness. It includes men and women, elderly folk and children, rich and poor, white and black, illiterates and academics. So many differences! But in Christ we are all one. To him each person is as precious as any other, he loves all people equally – and we may do the same. Worldly differences are of no account in the wonderful unity of the church. This amazing unity in diversity is what the Apostles’ Creed is talking about when it speaks of one holy, apostolic, church.

The church is holy

The Apostles’ Creed also calls the church a holy church. In his letters to the churches, Paul regularly addresses the believers as saints, or sanctified people, for instance in 1 and 2 Corinthians. And then he goes on to deal with all kinds of horrible sins in which some of them were involved. Could the church really be holy? In and of itself, the church is not holy. But its Lord is holy, and through the Holy Spirit the church, or the body of Christ, is sanctified, forgiven, cleansed and transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. Holiness is not the status quo, but rather a process of growing in faith, hope and love.

The church is apostolic, which means missional

When the first Christian believers gathered together around the Word and the sacraments, devoting themselves to prayer and to caring for one another, everyone around them noticed. Today, the church still has the same calling: to demonstrate the beauty of living with Jesus by loving one another. In Acts 2:47, we see the secret of a growing church: the believers praised God and enjoyed the favour of all the people: ‘And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.’ This is the secret of a growing, missional church.

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Any living fellowship of faith centred on Jesus through the Word, the sacraments, prayer and a life of sharing, will be noticed by its surroundings. And God himself will bring people to the fellowship who wish to become a part of it. The church is intended to grow, to impact its surroundings. This is why a church should never be a closed community, but instead must be open and inviting, drawing

‌people to come and get to know God together and to receive Jesus.

The church is the place for worshipping God, but that is only half the story; the other half is that we are commissioned to go out and share the gospel of Jesus’ love and forgiveness with all people. Being a church always involves those two movements of worshipping God, while also serving our neighbour. This is how Jesus intended his church to be.

‌Chapter 10

I believe in the forgiveness of sins

The tenth article in the Apostles’ Creed deals with the forgiveness of sins. It is mentioned specifically as a part of the work of the Holy Spirit and, therefore, as a part of our sanctification. We first came across forgiveness when we looked at Jesus’ atoning suffering and death, and now we see it as a part of our daily walk with Him through the Holy Spirit. On the cross, Jesus took the punishment for our sins upon Himself. He will always forgive all of our sins! It is the Holy Spirit who applies this great miracle of grace and forgiveness to our daily lives.

Renewal through the Spirit

‘I believe in the forgiveness of sins’ is the joyful exclamation of every believer. We know very well that no matter how much we love Jesus, in this life we will keep sinning again and again. The power of sin has been vanquished, yet we personally experience the consequences of evil every day. As Paul sighs in Romans 7:21: ‘ So I find this law at work: although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.’ Evidently, Paul is so tired of it all that at the end of this chapter he groans: ‘What a wretched man I am!’ (Romans 7:24). Thankfully, he does not end there. With sin still stirring itself in his very body as it were, he holds onto his purpose of serving Jesus – and out of that struggle against sin he steps into life through the Spirit in Romans 8. It is the Spirit who controls our lives, not sin. The Spirit helps us to change our sinful will, teaching us to be responsive to His leading. So entrust yourself to God’s Spirit. Believe that He dwells within you, and reach out for the renewal of your life through Him.

Confession of guilt

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This process of learning from the Spirit, in which he teaches us to resist and overcome sin, often involves profound depths. Forgiveness is always bound up with the confession of guilt. In 1 John 1:8 and 9, the apostle shows us how it works: ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and

‌purify us from all unrighteousness.’

The beauty of confession is that we may believe that our sins will indeed be forgiven, that we have nothing to fear. Whoever confesses is forgiven. There is no condemnation for whoever believes in Christ. Like the prodigal son, who returned to his father and confessed his guilt, we may always return to our Father and confess our sins, in the conviction that thanks to Jesus those sins will be forgiven and blotted out forever from God’s judgement of us. Just before in the Apostles’ Creed we confess our faith in Jesus’ return, we confess that His return will be a great celebration for us, because our sins have been forgiven and we may appear before God without blemish.

‌Chapter 11

I believe in the resurrection of the body and life everlasting

The Apostles’ Creed culminates in an expression of the hope in which every believer lives. Christian hope is an intense anticipation of the day when Jesus will return on the clouds, and the new, everlasting life with him on the new earth will begin. This new life has already begun to take shape. In John 17, Jesus says in a prayer to his Father: ‘Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent’ (verse 3). But on this earth the new life with Jesus, the new creation, cannot come into full bloom, because the ‘weeds’ of sin, the devil and death, are still around. This is why we watch and wait for the day when Jesus will come back and the new life with him on the new earth can begin without hindrance. As long as this moment has not arrived, we must wait in heaven after dying. We will be with God there, too, but it will not be our final destination. Heaven is a waiting room, and in Revelation 6:9 and 10 we read that even the souls of those who died as a result of persecution call out, ‘How long, Sovereign Lord…?’

The resurrection body

God’s Word and the confession of the church tell us that a day will come when Jesus returns and the dead are raised. The believers will receive a new, glorified body, like Jesus has since his resurrection: a body intended for eternity and fit for our tasks on the new earth. In 1 Corinthians 15, Paul writes extensively about our resurrection bodies. He draws a comparison to the sowing of seed. If you put a seed in the ground, you do not yet know what it will look like when it begins to grow and blossom. That’s how it is with our bodies. Our mortal bodies are buried, but we do not know what they will be like once we are raised from the dead to live for ever with God. Paul writes this: ‘The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonour, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power’ (1 Corinthians 15:42-43). What a wonderful perspective for all who believe! We will live for ever with a perfect body on a new and perfect earth. Just how it will all happen

‌on the day of Jesus’ return, we don’t know, but the Bible does offer some clues. Paul, especially, gives us some insight into what will happen when our bodies are raised. In 1 Thessalonians 4, he responds to a question from the church. Its members were worried that those who died before Jesus’ return would miss the boat. Paul replies: ‘For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words’ (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18).

A new earth

God’s ultimate destination for us is not heaven, but the new earth. That’s where His kingdom will be. We read about this new earth at the end of the Bible, in Revelation 21. This passage tells us God will dwell on earth, just as Jesus once did. ‘“God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”‘ (Revelation 21:3-5a).

There has been a lot of speculation and conjecture as to what life on the new earth will be like. Again, we do not know exactly, but the Bible does give us some pointers. To begin with, there will be no sin or evil there. The devil will have been vanquished and banned. This broken creation will have been restored and renewed for good; creation will be perfect, without limitations and vulnerabilities. The earth will be purified with fire; all that is evil and broken will be destroyed and our ‘good works’ will follow us. The good will remain, all evil will disappear. So many things will be recognisable. Yet all that we recognise will also be completely different, because it will be perfect. This applies to our bodies, too: in our new and perfect bodies, we will be recognisable, yet completely different. But the

‌most important thing is that God will be ‘all in all‘ (1 Corinthians 15:28). We will share in his glory, perfect love, fullness of joy and deep peace. It’s going to be truly wonderful!

‌Chapter 12

Introduction to the Ten Commandments

In Christian teaching, the Ten Commandments from Exodus 20 have traditionally held an important place. God’s purpose is for us to become more and more like Jesus in all we do. Jesus lived a life of holiness. A holy lifestyle is radically different from the lifestyle of a godless person. It means living differently from the way you did before you experienced Jesus’ love. What matters is that you put into practice what you receive from God (Philippians 2:12-13). You have been delivered from slavery (Exodus 20:2), saved, so now live accordingly. It is about following ‘the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ’ (Ephesians 4:20-21). In the Great Commission in Matthew 28, Jesus calls his disciples to spread the gospel and to gather people into the church through baptism: ‘teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you’ (verse 20). The key question we must answer when we teach the law is this: how can a Christian put into practice everything Jesus commanded and taught us by example? How can a Christian obey God in day-to- day life?

Both in the Old and the New Testament, the Ten Commandments are viewed as the very heart of God’s will for our lives. The Ten Commandments are part of the Torah, the laws and prescriptions God gave in the first five books of the Bible. Many of these laws we no longer keep, such as the sacrificial laws (which were fulfilled through Jesus’ death on the cross), the food laws (which were adapted in Acts 10) and the purification laws (‘You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you’, John 15:3). Yet there is much to learn from these laws. They offer many godly principles, for instance on how to treat farmland with care, how to treat immigrants, poor people and so on.

The church summarises our response to the law in three purposes. The first purpose of the law is to make us aware of our sins (Romans 7:7). The second is to lead us to Christ, who fulfilled the law (Matthew 5:17-20). And the third is to provide us with an answer to

‌the question: Lord, what would you have me do?

Keeping God’s law is our life’s goal. Jesus says, ‘Remain in me, as I also remain in you’ (John 15:4). This means doing his will. It is not a heavy burden, but a joy. A person burdened by the law is behaving the way a slave behaves towards his master’s commands. This is not what God intends. After delivering his people from slavery, God gave his laws in order to teach us how to cope with our freedom. It is like the freedom of a child: God does not impose his will on us, instead we are free to deliberately choose to obey. Christ made it possible and the Spirit empowers us – but the choice is still ours!

The law is a source of great joy to the person who understands it (Psalms 1, 19 and 119). In Israel the Feast of Tabernacles is followed by a celebration called Simhath Torah, or ‘rejoicing of the law’. It marks the conclusion of the annual cycle of public Torah readings and the beginning of a new cycle. The person who reads the closing section is called the Chatan Torah, the bridegroom of the law. Israel has discovered that the law of God is no less than a marriage course – a course on the practical application of his love and our loving response to it. You could also say: the law cannot do without the gospel, and the gospel cannot do without the law.

The law and the prophets, or God’s instructions for our lives, are summed up in a dual commandment in Deuteronomy 6:5, which is later cited by Jesus: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40). “Our love for God is a response to His love for us” (1 John 4:10). We cannot love God without loving our neighbour. Jesus talks about neighbourly love in the parable of the Good Samaritan: it means showing love to whoever you meet on life’s road. As a Christian, you are called to love your neighbour as yourself. So loving yourself is part of life, too – not in the sense of selfishness, but of accepting that you are God’s child, enjoying your identity and calling in Jesus, realising that your body is

‌a temple of the Holy Spirit. The law teaches us how to put this love for God and our neighbour into practice: it is the ethic of a life- changing love!

These are the Ten Commandments of Exodus 20:

And God spoke all these words:

2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

3 “You shall have no other gods before Me.

4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments.

7 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

13 “You shall not murder.

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

15 “You shall not steal.

16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

‌Chapter 13

The first commandment: no other gods besides God

‘And God spoke all these words: “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before (or: besides) me”’ (Exodus 20:1-3). The first commandment God gives us is to build our lives on nothing and no one other than him. He delivered us from the power of sin to live in freedom with him. We must not backslide into our former, bad habits, thoughts and actions.

Powers

The Bible clearly teaches us, both in the Old and the New Testament, that we live in a world in which powers and forces stronger than us are active. Mankind has been aware of this from of old. In their vulnerability, people have sought to influence these powers and forces by giving them faces or forms and worshipping those forms. People are prepared to sacrifice a lot for this kind of influence. In the Old Testament, Israel was surrounded by nations who worshipped these powers. Think of Baal, for instance, the Philistine god of fertility; Israel was the scene of a long between God and this Baal (1 Kings 18).

The powers influencing us are also evident in the New Testament. When Jesus was led into the desert, following his baptism, he was confronted with the satanic forces of wealth, pride and power (Matthew 4). We encounter these forces in our lives today, too. They try to tempt us into trusting other gods than the one God. The force of nature is another example, and many people have worshipped – or still worship – the sun, moon and stars. The power of the economy tempts people into believing that money will make them happy (Matthew 6:25). Jesus mentions the god Mammon, who represents money and possessions. Sexuality and health can also gain power over us – normal things that become gods to us if we serve them and build our lives and happiness on them.

We can also place our trust in people, for instance our ancestors, or

‌people who impress us. They become like gods to us when we place them above God, expecting him to share his authority over our lives with others. God will not accept that. His love is exclusive, he is committed to us, but in return he expects us to entrust ourselves only to him. With God there is no room for worshipping other gods besides him, or for serving ancestors, nature or other forces. These forces are all very real, they actually exist, but we must turn away from them. In Deuteronomy 6:4-5, this is stated clearly in Israel’s most well-known creed: ‘Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.’

Spiritual warfare

The battle against these powers and forces is a daily reality for every believer. We are caught up in a spiritual battle that began in Genesis 3:15, where the hostility between God’s children and Satan is described. This battle still rages within and around us. It is a battle against all the powers Satan has at his disposal to draw us away from God. Yet we do not have to fight this battle on our own. Each of the Ten Commandments stands in the light of that opening statement: ‘I am the Lord your God who delivered you from slavery.’ With God on our side, we can fight and overcome the powers of darkness. We are not the slaves of gods, we are children of the Most High. In Romans 8:15, Paul says: ‘The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry Abba, Father.”

‌Chapter 14

The second commandment: do not worship God in your own way

‘You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments’ (Exodus 20:4-6).

While the first commandment focussed on worshipping God only, the second one warns us against worshipping Him in our own way. We are not to make our own image of Him. God cannot be captured by our imagination or thoughts. God is different and greater than we will ever be able to grasp as human beings. If we do create our own image of God, we are short-changing Him in a terrible way. All through the Bible we hear words like those in Isaiah 55:8-9: ‘“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”’

Our own images of God

Throughout the Bible, we see many examples of people who had a wrong image of God. Think of Job, who in his terrible suffering blamed God. He called God to account, God did not match the image Job had of him. When God answered, he simply showed Job that His greatness and power can never be understood. Having heard God’s reply, Job realised what he had done: he had created his own image of God. Then he said to God: ‘You asked, “Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?” Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, “Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.” My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.’ (Job 42:3-6).

‌This commandment does not only mean He will not tolerate any other gods besides him. It also means we must love Him as He is and not as we would like Him to be. It’s like a marriage between a husband and wife. Marital love is exclusive, you can’t have a love relationship with another man or woman at the same time. If you’re a married man, your wife wants you to love her as she is, not as you would like her to be – that would mean loving your image of her rather than loving her. It would not be a real relationship. Most people would not accept it from their partner, so we certainly cannot expect God to accept it from us.

Generations

God warns us in this commandment that the images we create of Him may not only lead us astray, but will also have consequences for our offspring. He says in this commandment that He allows the guilt of those who hate Him – that is, those who try to use Him for their own purposes – to affect their children to the third and fourth generation. This implies that if parents shape God according to their own ideas, their children will do the same, sometimes for several generations. In God’s eyes, this is an expression of hatred of who He really is.

‌Chapter 15

The third commandment: do not negate God’s name

‘You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name’ (Exodus 20:7).

In the third commandment, God offers further instruction on how we are to relate to Him. This time He speaks about our use of His name. A name is not just a word. It stands for who you are. If someone asks who you are, you tell them what your name is. The same applies to God’s name. It stands for who He is.

Do not misuse God’s name

In the Bible, ‘misusing God’s name’ means, first of all, that we must not swear falsely or inadvertently by His name. A person who makes a promise in God’s name must know what he is doing, because he has bound his reliability to that of God. We see this in Christian marriage ceremonies, for instance, when a bride and groom, in the presence of the church of Christ and under God’s blessing, exchange vows. They call God to witness. To break these vows is to tarnish God’s reliability. You vowed to remain faithful with His help, and failing to do so means you have dismissed His name and therefore His being. So be slow to make promises in God’s name, as God will call you to account if you break them.

In the second place, we see in the Bible that using God’s name means speaking on his behalf. God speaks through his prophets and servants, but sometimes people proclaim things in God’s name that did not originate with Him, but in their own hearts or minds. These people are placing the stamp of God’s name on their own ideas and using him for their own purposes. God will never accept that!

This happened in Israel when false prophets appeared, but it is also a very real danger in the church of Christ. Jesus warns us about it in the Sermon on the Mount: ‘Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 5:19).

‌This is why Paul, in 1 Corinthians 12:10, speaks of the gift of ‘distinguishing between spirits’ in order to know what is, and what is not, of God. Don’t say you have received a word from God if you are not absolutely certain. It is not without reason that Paul mentions this in the wider context of all of the gifts given to the church. If one person has a word from God, others must verify it. Present it to the church and listen to what others have to say about it. In that way, you will avoid misusing God’s name to validate your own opinions or ideas.

A third way in which we might misuse God’s name is when His name is on our lips, but we do not obey Him with our actions. Christians who do not practice what they preach, are guilty of misusing the name of Christ placed upon their lives. All through the Bible, we hear God complain that His people have his name on their lips, while ignoring the fact that the poor continue to die and the weak continue to be oppressed. Amos, speaking in God’s name, says: ‘Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!’ (Amos 5:23-24). Jesus says the same thing in Matthew 7:21: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven.” We have the immense honour of being name bearers of God. Let us make sure we live and behave accordingly.

‌Chapter 16

The fourth commandment: a foretaste of the kingdom

‘Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labour and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns’ (Exodus 20:8-10)

In the fourth commandment, God instructs us to take a day of rest every week. The Old Testament offers us two motives for this commandment. The first motive, in Exodus 20, is related to creation. God made the earth in six days and rested on the seventh. Therefore God blessed this day of rest, setting it apart from the other days. We can find the second motive in Deuteronomy 5:15, where the Ten Commandments are written down also. Here, Israel is commanded to set apart one day a week for God, not on account of creation, but to commemorate Israel’s delivery from slavery in Egypt. You are no longer a slave, your life now consists of more than work: you are also allowed to rest and enjoy, just as God did after His work of creation.

Rest and enjoyment

The Sabbath is kept in different ways by different believers around the world. Jewish people celebrate the Sabbath on Saturday, as God meant them to. Most Christians traditionally celebrate a day of rest on Sunday, the day of Jesus’ resurrection. Some small Christian communities in Islamic countries follow the practice of the society they live in and have their day of rest on Friday. When and how you celebrate a day of rest, then, is determined by your church tradition or cultural context. The Bible leaves us room for these variations. There is not a single, exclusive way of keeping the Sabbath. It is not without reason that Paul says in Romans 14:5: ‘One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.’ There is no general rule as to how we are to fulfil this commandment, but the gist of it is the same for every believer: God does not want our lives to consist of work only. His desire for us is

‌that we regularly and deliberately leave our work to rest and to enjoy all He has given us in Himself, in each other and in creation. On the day of rest, you may stop working and look around you at God’s work, realising and rejoicing in the fact that He is the one who will bring all things to fulfilment, He will provide, He will guide.

This enjoying God is something we do by meeting with other believers, if possible, to worship God and listen to his Word. To enjoy one another means that on the day of rest we consciously spend time with our family, relatives and friends. To enjoy creation means to slow down and realise afresh all God has made. One way of doing this on the day of rest, for example, is to take a walk in nature or in the park.

Realising what really matters

With the fourth commandment, God reminds us of the relativity of our work and our striving. A day of rest brings us back to what really matters in our lives. This does not mean you cannot do anything on the Sabbath, rather, it means doing things you enjoy, things that give you pleasure and energy. In this sense, the day of rest is a foretaste of eternal life. The life on the earth that will begin when Jesus returns is also called ‘God’s rest’ in the Bible (Hebrews 4:9-11). The day of rest we take each week, therefore, reminds us of creation, of our delivery from slavery and of our eternal future. What a joy to bring one’s life back into the right perspective every week!

‌Chapter 17

The fifth commandment: honour your parents

‘Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you’ (Exodus 20:12)

This is the closing commandment in the first section of the Ten Commandments. The first five commandments in this section all deal with man’s relationship with God. The second section deals with how people are to relate to each other. It is worth noting that the command to honour one’s parents is in the first section on how we are to relate to God. The Bible teaches that parents are representatives of God in their interaction with children. Parents are to take care of their children and lead them on behalf of God. This explains why this commandment is among the first five: it is about honouring God by respecting your parents.

Children, respect grown-ups

In this commandment, God calls us to revere our parents. This means we are to give them the importance they deserve, to take them as seriously as God intends. They are the parents God gave you; he chose them to conceive you, to take care of you, to raise you and to teach you how to live. They also taught you how to live with God, to be His child. You are bound up with them body, soul and spirit. This is why God asks us to honour the generation who initiated our lives, to allow them to go before us rather than having them trail along behind us. The practice of honouring those older than we are recurs throughout Scripture. In Leviticus 19:32, God says: ‘Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.’ Here, too, there is a direct relation between respecting those older than we are and honouring God.

Parents, be like Christ

This commandment does not just present children with a responsibility, but parents too. If God gives parents children to raise them up to physical and spiritual maturity on his behalf, their attitudes and conduct should reflect God. Children are instructed to

‌honour their parents, but parents must not make this difficult for their children.

Paul emphasises this reciprocity in his letter to the Ephesians. Dealing with various issues of authority in the church, the family and the workplace, he also discusses relations between parents and children. Echoing the fifth commandment, his first instruction is addressed to children: ‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right’ (Ephesians 6:1). Paul, too, connects obedience to parents with honouring the Lord. But right after this instruction, Paul addresses parents: ‘Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord’ (verse 4). This means that as a parent you must be like Christ, raising your children in the attitude demonstrated by Jesus when He confronted the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Jesus did not overlook her sin, but He did offer her a fair opportunity to change: ‘Go now and leave your life of sin’ (verse 11). With Jesus, grace and forgiveness are leading, but his purpose in this is that the person in question will start doing things differently. Parents who raise their children in this spirit reflect something of God. Their children do not become bitter, but are given room to learn from their mistakes and to join their parents in following Jesus.

Sadly, there are countless children in this world who suffer at the hands of their parents. They may be neglected, abused or damaged in another way. Their parents were busy serving themselves rather than their children. Such parents break the fifth commandment. They also mar the image of God in the lives of their children, forfeiting their children’s respect. The fifth commandment cannot be applied to these children. When God asks children to show their parents reverence, respect and obedience, His desire is that the parents leadtheir children in the spirit of Jesus.

A promise

In Ephesians 6, Paul says something special about the fifth commandment: it is the first commandment with a promise (Ephesians 6:2-3). It is indeed remarkable that God adds a promise

‌to this commandment, saying that ‘it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ This does not mean you will reach a very old age or live prosperously. It means you will be happy as a result of having a good relationship with your parents. If your parental home is a place of peace and security and if you continue to honour your parents, to visit them, to listen to their advice, you will enjoy greater stability and rest in your life. You will realise you are part of a greater whole and that you stand on the shoulders of your forebears.

‌Chapter 18

The sixth commandment: do not murder

‘You shall not murder’ (Exodus 20:13)

This commandment seems obvious. Of course it is wrong to kill another person; even those who do not believe in God acknowledge that. So why does God expressly include this commandment? Because he is addressing an issue that is far broader than that of murder. With this law, God is prohibiting everything that can precede murder. The act of murdering someone is just the tip of the iceberg; the underlying issues are not directly visible, but they certainly exist. With this commandment, God wishes to completely remove all murderousness from among us.

Murder comes from anger

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us that murder comes from anger. In Matthew 5 from verse 17, he speaks of the fulfilment of the law, explaining that the Ten Commandments go far beyond the mere words. They also cover those areas from which sinful deeds spring forth. This is why, on commenting on the sixth commandment, He says: ‘But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment’ (Matthew 5:22). Jesus is pointing out that the root of murder goes back to an angry heart. Allow that anger to fester and it will culminate in deadly hatred. That’s why anger is just as wrong as murder. The underlying feeling is the same and if it is dealt with, the results can be fatal.

This does not necessarily mean literally killing another person. That is the most extreme expression of murder, but you can ‘kill’ a person in subtler ways. For example, you can ruin someone’s life by speaking evil of him or her. You can break a person down by ignoring him or her. Even looks can ‘kill’. In all of these examples, you are making it clear that you consider another person’s life to be of no value. Whenever this happens, whenever you hear that evil little voice inside you or feel that fire burning within you, you are breaking the sixth commandment. The apostle John writes: ‘Anyone who

‌hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him’ (1 John 3:15).

Overcome evil

The commandment ‘You shall not murder’ resounds throughout the Bible as an appeal to overcome evil and do good to others. Stop giving anger, envy and hatred a place in your life. They separate you not only from your neighbour, but also from God. This is why Jesus says: ‘Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift’ (Matthew 5:23-24). Angry people cannot pray! ‘In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold’ (Ephesians 4:26).

‌Chapter 19

The seventh commandment: do not destroy a marriage

‘You shall not commit adultery’ (Exodus 20:14)

The second section of the Ten Commandments deals with loving your neighbour as yourself. This means respecting the other person’s life. It also means respecting another person’s marriage, God tells us in this seventh commandment. The instruction not to commit adultery is not primarily aimed at protecting your own marriage, but the marriages of others. If you commit adultery, you will destroy another person’s marriage in the first place and your own in the second.

Marriage is a covenant

The protection of marriage is a central issue to God. We see this all through the Bible. The commandment not to destroy a marriage relationship carries as much weight as the commandment not to take someone’s life. With God, murder and divorce carry equal weight, for anyone ruining a love relationship destroys two lives.

We must also note that marriage is not a random way in which a man and a woman can enter into a relationship. Rather, it is a God- ordained covenant between a man and a woman. This covenant reflects the covenant God has made with us. It shows us how He wishes to bind himself to us. This means that in marriage we are to treat one another as God treats us. It also means we are to treat God as we treat a marriage partner. This covenant relationship, in which love and faithfulness go hand in hand, is the kind of relationship God desires. Whenever a relationship of this nature is threatened by romantic entanglements and sexuality outside of marriage, the covenant is broken and God’s covenant is marred.

Where is the boundary?

154 Part 3 : Teach me your way- Chapter 19 The seventh commandment: do not destroy a marriage

This commandment addresses the various degrees of adultery, which culminate in divorce. Again, Jesus shows us that sin often

‌begins as something small and insignificant. In Matthew 5:28, He comments on this commandment, saying: ‘But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.‘ So it begins with how we look at someone. The line between good and evil is very thin here. Looking at someone of the opposite sex and observing that he or she is beautiful is fine. But if you go on to fantasise about having sex with that person, you have crossed the line. In other words, we must be very conscious of how we look. Job puts it this way: ‘I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman’ (Job 31:1). Jesus speaks about this lustful way of looking in Matthew 5:29: ‘If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.’ It begins with looking at another person. If you do not control your looks, you will soon deliberately arouse the flame of sexual desire, either by flirting or by sharing too much time or intimacy with the other person. All of these things are a threat to the other person’s marriage as well as to your own. This is why the seventh commandment forbids adultery: adultery is a form of breaking the covenant of marriage.

Divorce is an abhorrence in God’s eyes, as it is for those directly involved and for the families destroyed by it. This is why God forbids divorce. Divorce is the impossible possibility. Jesus emphasises this again in Matthew 19:4-9, when He is questioned about divorce. The fundamental principle is that man should not separate what God has joined together. Moses opened the door to divorce by means of a certificate of divorce. He did this with a view to preventing people from divorcing randomly and easily. Jesus points out that divorce was never meant to be, not even in the days of Moses, but that Moses introduced the certificate of divorce as a means of restraining evil (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

‌Chapter 20

The eighth commandment:

do not keep everything for yourself

‘You shall not steal’ (Exodus 20:15)

Following the commandments to protect the lives and marriages of our neighbours, comes a commandment to protect our neighbour’s possessions. Why does God add theft to the list of murder and adultery? Surely, stealing is less extreme than those other things? Again, we must listen carefully to what the Bible is teaching us. Stealing someone’s possessions is no minor misdemeanour. The Bible compares theft with robbing a person of the opportunity to live. A person’s possessions represent his means of staying alive. His home, his tools – all of these are means of survival. Stealing these things, then, is paramount to threatening his survival. In its broader meaning, therefore, the commandment ‘You shall not steal’ means we must not make it impossible for another person to continue living.

Give every person a fair chance

156 Part 3 : Teach me your way – Chapter 20 The eighth commandment: do not keep everything for yourself

In the Bible, wealthy people are often accused of stealing from the poor. The prophets rebuke city dwellers for stealing from country folk. Wherever people live together, there will be inequality. Usually, the rich get richer, while the poor get poorer. The rich, in other words, tend to make it difficult for the poor to survive, which means they are breaking the eighth commandment. The opposite of stealing from our neighbour is to offer him a fair chance to make a living like us. It doesn’t mean everyone must have equal wealth, but that everyone deserves an equal chance at working to support himself. The many laws in Leviticus, in which the Ten Commandments are worked out in more detail, are aimed primarily at the protection of the weak, the poor, the widows and orphans. The establishment of the Sabbath Year and the Year of Jubilee (Leviticus 25) is aimed at giving those stuck in their situation room to manoeuvre and a fair chance at rebuilding an independent existence.

‌The biblical concept of stealing also includes keeping everything for yourself. The evils of avarice and greed are deeply rooted in man. In 1 Timothy 6:10, Pauls says: ‘the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.’ It is this lust for money, this desire for more, that causes us to forget others or to let them sink further into poverty. This explains the instruction in Leviticus 19:9-10: ‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. I am the LORD your God.‘ In 1 Timothy 6, again, Paul says: ‘Command them [those who are rich] to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share’ (verse 18).

‌Chapter 21

The ninth commandment: do not gossip

‘You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour’ (Exodus 20:16)

Following the commandments to protect our neighbour’s life, marriage and possessions, this ninth commandment calls us to protect his or her name, or identity. Giving someone a bad name means you are undermining his or her position in society. This is why one of the Ten Commandments deals with how we speak about others.

No false testimony

This commandment deals first and foremost with how we speak of other people in court. If you are called on as a witness, you can make or break another person’s life. Your testimony can lead to that person’s condemnation or acquittal. So your testimony in court gives you a lot of power over your neighbour’s life. At these moments, when your words give you power over others, it is vital that you are reliable and sincere. A believer speaks and acts with integrity. You must not allow your sympathy, or antipathy, towards your neighbour to influence your testimony or judgement. In Leviticus 19:15 and 16, this commandment is dealt with in more detail: ‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favouritism to the great, but judge your neighbour fairly. Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbour’s life. I am the LORD.’

Do not gossip

158 Part 3 : Teach me your way – Chapter 21 The ninth commandment: do not gossip

The text in Leviticus 19 shows us that the ninth commandment does not only apply in court, but also in daily life. We must always be aware of the power of words. This theme keeps recurring throughout the Bible. In Proverbs, Solomon often touches on it: ‘The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit’ (Proverbs 18:21). The apostle James also writes extensively about how we speak: ‘With the tongue we praise our Lord and

‌Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness’ (James 3:9). In other words, if we praise God, while speaking ill of other people, we are hypocrites.

As we saw in looking at other commandments, the line between good and evil can be very thin. Talking about others is fine, gossiping is not. Gossip aims at tearing a person down, at maligning him or her. Speaking ill of another person is the same as giving false testimony. This does not mean we are to whitewash everything people do or say. What matters is the intention with which we say things. Are you aiming at breaking a person down, or building him or her up? If we love our neighbour as ourselves, we can question another person’s behaviour or attitudes with the intention of building him up. If that is not your purpose, it is better to keep quiet.

The upside of this commandment is that it teaches us that we can build each other up with words, we can bless each other. This is what Paul means in Ephesians 4:29: ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’

‌Chapter 22

The tenth commandment: do not covet what belongs to someone else

‘You shall not covet your neighbour’s house. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour’ (Exodus 20:17)

The tenth commandment moves beyond the previous commandments dealing with the protection of our neighbour. In those commandments, we are told to keep our hands off our neighbour’ s life, marriage and good name. This tenth commandment appears to repeat that, but its reach is broader and deeper. In the tenth commandment, God shows us the root of all those sins against our neighbour: covetousness. It is this same covetousness, this greed for more power and possessions, that brought sin into paradise. And beneath it lurks pride: in the final analysis, it is pride that drives us to harm our neighbour. The smaller we make our neighbour, the greater we become ourselves – and that is our ultimate human desire.

Covetousness

James paints a clear picture of how covetousness operates in our lives: ‘(…) each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death’ (James 1:14-15). Covetousness, or greed, is a force in our lives that we must resist and overcome. We can do this by nipping it in the bud, by recognising the desire, confessing it and resisting it in the power of God.

160 Part 3 : Teach me your way-Chapter 22 The tenth commandment: do not covet what belongs to someone else

The tenth commandment teaches us that covetousness centres on desiring what our neighbour has. If your neighbour has something good, you want it, too – at the expense of your neighbour, if necessary. This commandment covers the entire breadth of our neighbour’s well-being. Do not damage anything in which he finds joy, God says. This wellbeing is represented by three specific things in the tenth commandment: our neighbour’s house, wife and cattle.

‌They represent his circle of relatives and friends, his marriage and family, and his work and income. A person’s daily existence and happiness hinge on these things. Therefore, do not touch them, God says. Do not even look at them covetously or jealously. Be happy if your neighbour is happy and do not seek your own happiness in wanting to have the things he has.

Contentment

The tenth commandment points out that a life with God is a life of contentment. It means realising that all we have comes from God’s hand, and being thankful – even if we have received less than our neighbour has. Paul speaks about this contentment in his first letter to Timothy. Having warned against the desire for more money, he writes: ‘But godliness with contentment is great gain’ (1 Timothy 6:6). Contentment is the best remedy for covetousness. If we realise the riches of grace and goodness God has given us in Jesus, we will stop coveting what belongs to our neighbour. We will know that true joy and true riches are found in living with God.

‌Chapter 23

Our Father – Introduction

Prayer is the breath of faith. Prayer connects us to God and keeps us connected. Prayer is about tuning in to God, aligning our lives with him. Prayer is sharing everything with our heavenly Father, both our joy and thankfulness and our cares and questions. This is why a prayer can be an expression of praise and worship one moment and a plea or lament the next. In all of this, prayer means turning to God.

But prayer is not just talking to God, it is also listening to God. More than conversation, it is having fellowship with God, consciously being in his presence. When loved ones come together, they talk a lot, they share their lives. But the best moments are those in which words are not necessary, in which they simply enjoy one another’s nearness. This is what our prayer times with God can be like. As children of the heavenly Father, we can spend time and share everything with him, but we can also simply enjoy his presence. This is prayer without words. In this peace and quiet, this intimate fellowship with God, you will sometimes hear his voice speaking to you, through a Bible verse, a song or a thought that comes to mind. This, too, is part of prayer.

Praying to God, then, is not primarily about getting results, but about developing a relationship! As we pray, we entrust our lives to him, we humble ourselves before him in the realisation that he is the Father and we are the children. We know that Jesus has been given all power in heaven and on earth, and in this confidence we share our lives with him. There are many things we do not understand, many situations we do not fully grasp, and reality often differs from our dreams and longings, yet through prayer we keep trusting God to care for and to guide us and this world. To pray is to yield, to trust, to draw near to God in every situation, with thanksgiving or with a plea, always placing ourselves in his loving care.

If we can share everything with God in prayer, we can also ask him anything, we can pray for everything. James rebukes the believers he

‌is addressing in his epistle for not taking everything to God: ‘You do not have because you do not ask God’ (James 4:2b). Of course, God knows what we need, even if we do not ask him. He longs for us to tell him our needs, because it is a way of sharing our vulnerability with him and giving him an opportunity to draw near. It is like a love relationship. You appreciate it when your partner, or children, share their struggles with you, because it opens the door to friendship, support or advice, and going through trials together will strengthen your bond.

The second thing James says about prayer is that God does not answer prayers based on wrong motives: ‘When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures’ (James 4:3). Prayer is not a means of getting God to fulfil our desires for more, better, bigger and so on. The focus of prayer is to honour God and to receive a blessing for ourselves and for others. Blessings are not the same as success or possessions. If you pray for a greater blessing, you will be blessed and honour God for it. If you pray for more success, you are asking with wrong motives. God is our heavenly Father and will not give his children things that are not good for us, even if we think they are.

It is possible, then, for a believer to pray too little, or wrong. Not every prayer is automatically right. Together, we may learn to pray the way God intends us to. When the disciples noticed how much prayer meant to Jesus, they asked him to teach them to pray. In Luke 11, they saw Jesus praying and said to him: ‘Lord, teach us to pray’ (verse 1). Jesus then taught them what is now known as ‘The Lord’s Prayer’. You can also find it in Matthew 6:9-13. As he shows them how to prayerfully entrust themselves to their Father, he teaches them these words, this prayer that to this day is prayed by Christians all over the world. It is a prayer that teachesus how to pray to God’s glory, how to have fellowship with him. In the following chapters, we will look at this prayer line by line.

‌The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13)

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one

for Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

‌Chapter 24

Daddy

‘Our Father in Heaven’ (Mathew 6:9)

The way God is addressed as Father here reveals such a beautiful message. Already in the Old Testament, God manifests Himself as a Father to His children. Paul puts it this way: ‘(…) the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father”’ (Romans 8:15). The Spirit teaches us to so trust in God’s love that when we pray, it is as if we walk into God’s presence, saying, ‘Hello, Daddy.’ This intimacy can grow as we live with God, and prayer plays an important part in this. This secret of talking to God as with a loving Father is one of the greatest secrets a Christian can discover.

In heaven

God’s Fatherhood shows us how near He is to us. He is the Father. However, in the same breath, Jesus adds that he is our Father ‘in heaven’. God the Father is high and lifted up, He is and always will be the omnipotent Creator of heaven and earth. This is a tremendous comfort: the one to whom we pray is enthroned in heaven and is stronger and mightier than anyone or anything else on earth. It also helps us to see that our Dad expects and deserves profound respect. He is in heaven, which means we cannot grasp, calculate or predict anything about him. All we know for sure is that he loves us, holds our lives in his hands and that we may confidently place ourselves and our world in his care. This is why we begin our intimate fellowship with God in prayer by reverently and gratefully saying: ‘Abba, Father in heaven.’

Our Father

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In closing this chapter, it is good for us to realise that Jesus reminds us right at the beginning of our prayer that we are not the only ones who believe and pray. God is not just my Father, He has also given me countless spiritual brothers and sisters. When I pray, I do so in fellowship with them, I am a part of God’s world-wide kingdom – and I am reminded of this each time I begin my prayer with ‘our Father’. God has placed me in His family, and together we pray to Him!

‌Chapter 25

God first

‘Hallowed be your name’ (Matthew 6:9)

In praying to our Father, Jesus instructs the disciples and us to start with properly focusing on Him. Our lives do not revolve around us. The first place is not ours, but God’s. This is what Jesus meant in Luke 14:26, when He said: ‘If anyone comes to Me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even their own life – such a person cannot be My disciple.’ Hallowing God’s name means giving God the first place, giving Him top priority. So we begin our prayer by asking God to help us to truly focus on Him, before we ask or share anything ourselves. ‘Father, make my life to be honouring unto You. May You be the first and the last in my life, may You be everything to me.’ This is what we ask in this first part of the Lord’s Prayer.

By praying this, we acknowledge that this attitude cannot be taken for granted in our lives. Again and again, we tend to set our own priorities. But by deliberately focussing on God, we ask him to set us straight first, so that we will give honour where honour is due. To hallow God’s name, then, means to acknowledge who God is and to honour and worship him accordingly.

The glory of his name

When we ask the Father for his name to be hallowed in our lives, we are asking for a greater awareness of ‘how wide and long and high and deep’ the love of God is, as we see it in Christ (Ephesians 3:18 and 19). The more meaning God’s name takes on in our lives, the more we will honour and thank him in everything. The realisation that God is present in all his power and might will compel us to do what Paul recommends in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: ‘Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.’

166 Part 3 : Teach me your way – Chapter 25 God first

As our awareness of who God is grows, we will approach Him in prayer with greater reverence, dependence and trust. This first part of the Lord’s Prayer firmly places God on the throne and puts us in our place.

‌Chapter 26

Build Your kingdom

‘Your kingdom come’ (Matthew 6:10)

In this second part of the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus speaks of the kingdom of God – a topic He addressed from His very first sermon. His whole life, death and resurrection stood in the context of the kingdom of God. The purpose of His saving work was to restore God’s kingship on earth. The kingdom of God is central to everything. Everything in God’s plan is aimed at restoring His lordship. In this part of the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches us to pray that God will continue his work, the advancement of his kingship, to include more and more people and parts of the earth.

… in my personal life

This means, first and foremost, that we must ask God to allow His influence and authority to grow in our personal lives. Our prayer is that His kingship will be more and more visible and noticeable in our daily existence, that we will obey Him more and more deliberately, that we will allow His will and His Word to guide our lives. Build your kingdom and begin in me!

… in the church

It also means we must pray for the church, as it is God’s instrument for making His kingdom visible. Wherever the church is, God is. He plants his church all over the world in order to use it as a means of manifesting and spreading his love and grace. A prayer for the coming of God’s kingdom, therefore, is also a prayer that the church of Christ will remain steadfast and grow. ‘Let your kingdom advance in the world and equip your church to play its part.’

… in the world

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The third truth we confess when we pray this prayer is that God’s kingdom is not of this world, it is the world turned upside down. Yet its purpose is to renew this world. The kingdom is not of this world, but it does exist for this world. God´s plan of salvation includes the

‌whole of creation, man and animals, heaven and earth. So the way in which we treat creation certainly matters. If we pray for the advancement of God’s kingdom on earth, therefore, we also pray for the restoration of everyday things in our everyday earthly lives. Right here and now, in the common, day-to-day things, God wishes to manifest his glory and goodness.

‌Chapter 27

Your will be done

‘Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven’ (Matthew 6:10)

Following up on the second petition in the Lord’s Prayer for the advancement of the kingdom, Jesus teaches us in the third section to submit ourselves to the guidance of the Father. If we pray for God’s will to be done in heaven and on earth, we are praying, in the first place, that we will learn to do God’s will. Jesus set the example in a profound way when He prayed this prayer at one of the toughest moments in His life. In the garden of Gethsemane, God held out to Him the cup of His wrath over the sins of man.

Jesus, having fallen to the ground, pleaded with God up to three times: ‘Abba, Father,’ He said, ‘everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will’ (Mark 14:36). Facing a terrible death, Jesus begged for a way out, yet at the same time He gave himself over entirely to the will of His Father. This prayer, ‘Your will be done’, resounds with an absolute trust in God. It says: Lord, I trust you completely!

Knowing God’s will

In the church, a distinction is often made between God’s revealed will and his hidden, or sovereign, will. We can read His revealed will in his Word. A good example can be found in Micah 6:8: ‘He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.’ God’s will is clear and is revealed to us in the Ten Commandments, Jesus’ Sermon on Mount and many other parts of the Bible. Whenever we pray for God’s will to be done, we are asking God to help us do as He has told us. It is, primarily, a prayer of obedience to God’s will in our everyday lives. It is about putting into practice the will of God in our daily work, in our relationships and in the common experiences of day-to-day life.

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God’s will also has a hidden, or sovereign, side. We can seek it in specific situations or when we face important decisions in life. Finding it requires an intimate relationship with God. You can

‌discover His will if you are open to what God says to you through His Word, His Spirit or your own thoughts. As the Psalmist sings: ‘Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths’ (Psalm 25:4). This is a learning process, a matter of gradually familiarising yourself with who God is and what He wants. Often it takes patience. Rather than making things happen your way, you wait until you are absolutely certain you know what God wants from you.

Many of us have the tendency to run ahead of Jesus, like Peter did, to go ahead and do things our way. When we do, we need correcting, like Peter did: ‘Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling-block to Me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns’ (Matthew 16:23). The Psalms show us that discovering God’s will in our lives is a matter of trust: ‘Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this’ (Psalm 37:5). As you pray for clarity and move forward, taking decisions in faith, God will show you His will, one way or another.

A bit of heaven on earth

It is worth noting that Jesus adds ‘on earth as it is in heaven’. God’s ultimate purpose is that heaven and earth will once again become one, that the heavenly life and the earthly life will be connected. God is to be increasingly obeyed and served on earth, just as He already is in heaven. Wherever God’s will is put into practice, we see a little bit of heaven on earth, we catch a glimpse of the nearness of God that one day will be complete. In Revelation 21:3, John writes: ‘And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling- place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them”.’ Wherever God’s will is carried out, we are given a foretaste of this dwelling with God.

‌Chapter 28

Pray for everyday things

Give us today our daily bread’ (Matthew 6:11)

Having instructed us to pray‘ for the honour of God, the advancement of God’s Kingdom and the universal performance of His will, Jesus now directs our prayers toward our everyday lives. Whoever lives in fellowship with God will soon discover the wonder of the commonplace. Christianity makes no fundamental distinction between the natural and the supernatural. God became man, thus embracing every aspect of human existence. The incarnation of Jesus offers the ultimate affirmation that God created all things and, therefore, will re-create all things. Nothing is too small or insignificant for God. That means we can share everything with him. In Matthew 10:29-30, Jesus talks about sparrows and about the hairs on our head. In Jesus’ life, there is a lot of attention for food and drink. He enjoys eating and drinking with other people and breaking bread with the crowds. In the coming Kingdom, there will also be a great feast. As a foretaste of that, he encourages us in the Lord’s Prayer to ask God for our daily bread.

Daily bread in this prayer represents our basic needs in terms of food and drink, shelter, work, income and possessions. This prayer is about our earthly concerns, big and small. Sometimes we are entangled by these cares, but if we prayerfully take them to God, we gain a clearer view, the knot comes undone, things begin to fall into place.

Living one day at a time

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It is interesting that Jesus tells us to pray for our ‘daily’ bread. On the one hand, this is a reference to the bread we need today (in Matthew’s version), and on the other hand it refers to our need for bread every day (in Luke’s version). This prayer covers both aspects. As we trust God to provide for the acute needs we have today and to do so again tomorrow, we no longer need to lay up stores for ourselves. This principle is demonstrated when Israel receives manna from God in the desert. It is their daily bread, that is, it meets

‌the needs of today. The Israelites were not allowed to save manna for the next day, except on the eve of the Sabbath (Exodus 16). They had to learn to trust God for their daily bread. In the same spirit, Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:31 not to worry about what we will eat or drink tomorrow, or what we will wear, as our heavenly Father knows we need these things. This means that when we pray for our daily bread, asking God to meet the needs of this day, we do not have to anxiously beg him, but instead we can confidently approach the One who cares for us. He will do it today and every day of our lives.

Everything comes from His hand

Daily bread signifies what you really need. We are instructed to pray for bread, not for cake. But if we receive our bread from God’s hand, knowing how much he cares for us and how much peace and quietness this gives us, our bread begins to taste like cake! The Bible does not give us a boundary, telling us how much to ask. We are encouraged to share everything with God, all our needs. We ask in the name of Jesus. This helps us to pray in accordance with what Jesus would ask: not for greater wealth or more possessions, but for what we need in order to live and function properly in our surroundings. Praying for our daily bread means recognising that without God we can do nothing, that everything we are and have comes from his hand. It is sharing our day- to-day existence with our Father.

‌Chapter 29

Confessing guilt

‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors’ (Matthew 6:12)

In the fifth part of the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches us to pray for another daily need: forgiveness of sins. As children of the Father, we know we must love God above all else and our neighbour as ourselves. In day-to- day life, however, we discover again and again how easily we give ourselves the first place, following our own passions and simply forgetting God.

Yes, we sin every day. This is why Jesus tells us not only to pray for our daily bread, but also for daily forgiveness. Our sins accumulate, leaving us indebted to God and our neighbour. In this prayer, Jesus teaches us that we must confess our sins, even though we are God’s children and we know our sins are forgiven. If we neglect this confession, we may forget that we continue to sin. John says: ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us’ (1 John 1:8). Confession, therefore, is an essential part of our prayer life. Without it, we cannot maintain an open, honest relationship with God. Only in confession do we find room to receive grace and forgiveness again and again.

Truly confessed, truly forgiven

Confessing guilt is not superficially ticking off all the wrongs we have done. It is a deep awareness of what our sins signify. David shows this awareness in Psalm 51, when he confesses that he has sinned with Bathsheba. In verses 3 and 4, he prays: ‘For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.’ David realises that the sins we commit against other people always pierce God’s heart too. When we sin, we go against His will, His purposes. We can see this same awareness at the return of the prodigal son in the parable in Luke 15. He, too, says in his confession to his father: ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer

‌worthy to be called your son’ (verse 21). To those who confess guilt like this, realising how their guilt affects their neighbour and God, the Bible offers wonderful promises. Both in Psalm 51 and in Luke 15, we see examples of the principle so powerfully described by John: ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness’ (1 John 1:9). The Bible offers 100% certainty that this prayer will be answered. Whoever has prayed this prayer, may rise up and continue afresh.

Forgiving others

Jesus adds one clear condition to all of this. You will only receive forgiveness from God if you are prepared to forgive others who have sinned against you. In his teachings on earth, Jesus stresses this several times. In the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:23-35), Jesus highlights this. In this story, a servant owes a king a large amount of money. The king cancels the debt. The servant then runs into someone else, who owes him a tiny debt, which he refuses to cancel. When the king finds out, he is furious and orders the servant to pay off his large debt after all. Jesus ends this parable with these words: ‘This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart’ (Matthew 18:35). You can only ask for forgiveness if you are prepared to give it.

Our debts

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Again, Jesus speaks of we and us in this part of the prayer. When we ask God for something, we are not to ask just for ourselves, but to involve those who belong to us, such as our family and church. We pray for our bread, we confess our sins. We cannot pretend one person’s sin does not affect anyone else. Sin affects the whole community. We find a clear example of this in Nehemiah. While serving at the court in Babel, Nehemiahreceives news of trouble among the returned exiles in Jerusalem. Then he prays to God: ‘I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you’ (Nehemiah 1:6). Although he is not directly accountable for what has happened, Nehemiah realises he is part of a greater whole and carries his part of the responsibility. This is why, we, too, must pray: forgive us our debts!

‌Chapter 30

Temptation

‘And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one’ (Matthew 6:13)

As believers we know from experience that our lives are the scene of a spiritual battle between God and the devil. We have been saved by Jesus’ death on the cross, but the final capitulation of Satan and of evil will not take place until the return of Christ. Until then, the devil will continue to have a lot of power. Jesus calls him ‘the prince of this world’ (John 14:30 and 16:11). The apostle Peter warns us to always be on our guard against evil: ‘Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour’ (1 Peter 5:8). One of the ways in which the devil tries to lure us away from God is temptation. Temptation can come to us through external forces that draw us away from God. Jesus gave an example of this when He spoke of ‘the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth’ (Matthew 13:22). But temptation can also come from within, through things stirring in our hearts, such as doubts about God and faith, or persistent sins that seem to be ineradicable.

Jesus knows our hearts. He knows how vulnerable we are to the devil’s temptations. This is why He teaches us to pray that God will keep us from these temptations and deliver us from the evil one and from the powers of darkness. As we pray for this, we must, of course, realise that no temptation comes from God or is sent our way as a test of faith and a means of drawing us closer to him. That is definitely not the case, James tells us: ‘When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone’ (James 1:13). James stresses each person’s individual responsibility for coping with temptation: ‘but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death’ (James 1:14-15). This is another warning that we must take temptations seriously and pray to God all the more deliberately that he will protect us from them. This is the prayer of a child in a

‌storm asking his dad to hold his hand.

Jesus encourages us to pray for complete delivery from evil and the evil one. We can already be conquerors in this world; thanks to Jesus, we can resist and overcome sin and temptation. Yet the fact that the battle never ends, that sin is always lurking, that the pull of evil is always there and that we must always be on our guard can wear us out. This is why we join Paul in eagerly awaiting the moment at which our vanquished enemy will finally disappear: ‘(…) we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies’ (Romans 8:23). Whenever we pray ‘Deliver us from evil‘, we are longing for that day and praying for its hastening.

The first Christians, many of whom were fiercely persecuted for their faith, also shared a deep longing for the final delivery from the evil one. The apostle John, after having been banned to the island of Patmos for his faith, received an amazing vision for the persecuted church and for all battle-weary Christians. In Revelation he describes what he saw, lifting a tip of the veil for us. This is how we know that prior to the final delivery, the devil will continue to wreak havoc. But the book of Revelation also tells us how we will eventually be taken away and how God’s children will be protected during this final battle. Revelation is a book of comfort for believers longingly praying for delivery from the evil one!

‘For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever. Amen.’

This final exclamation of praise is not in Mathew’s description of the Lord’s Prayer, but these words certainly fit well. As we contemplate the contents of the Lord’s Prayer, we glimpse something of the greatness and goodness of God and are filled with a deep gratitude. That what is expressed in the last sentences of the Lord’s Prayer as we know it.

‌Part 4

Pastoral Care

‌Part 4 : Pastoral care

Introduction. 179

1. Pastoral leadership. 180
2. What is the pastoral care?. 182
3. The goal of pastoral care. 184
4. The role of the church in pastoral care. 198
5. Personal problems. 200
6. Relational problems. 209
7. The five characteristics of a trustworthy pastor 218
8. Basic pastoral skills. 223

‌Introduction to part 4

Pastoral care

I wrote this chapter on pastoral care, bearing in mind that different countries and cultures have different understandings of what pastoral care involves. Culture often has a huge influence on how pastoral care is given. In western cultures there is usually a high degree of openness between a pastor and his church members and people talk about their problems and vulnerabilities more easily than in eastern or southern cultures. From my many conversations with pastors in North Africa, the Middle East and Asia I have learned a lot about the sensitivities and possibilities that characterise different cultures.

‌Chapter 1

Pastoral leadership

A shepherd does not only lead his flock in the right direction, he also makes sure they stay together and that each individual animal can keep up. In Ezekiel 34:4, God rebukes the leaders of Israel for neglecting this side of their role as shepherds of the people: strengthening the weak, healing the sick, binding up the injured, bringing back the strays and searching for the lost. These things are part of the shepherd’s responsibility as a caregiver; they are what make a leader a true pastor.

In Luke 15:3-6, Jesus shares a parable in which He highlights the responsibility a shepherd has for taking care of each individual sheep. A shepherd leaves his flock of 99 sheep behind in the open country and goes after one lost sheep. A shepherd must lead the flock, but the words of Jesus suggest that when troubles come caring for each individual animal takes priority over leading the whole flock. Even if only a single sheep is missing, or cannot keep up, the flock stays put. In this parable Jesus teaches us that pastoral care is an indispensable part of leadership. Every leader, first and foremost, is a pastor!

This means that, like Jesus, you will go to great lengths to comfort, encourage and support the people whom God has entrusted to you. Pastoral care means not letting go of a person who needs you, but being faithful. In 1 Corinthians 4:2, Paul says that those serving the church on behalf of God must be faithful. They have to be dependable, you have to know they will keep their promises and be as good as their word. In pastoral care, people do not just share their deepest secrets with the pastor, the put their very soul in his care. He is allowed to care for their soul, to touch their inward being. The relationship goes further than a doctor-patient relationship. A doctor touches his patient’s body, a pastor touches the soul. It takes a lot of trust in the pastor for a person to receive pastoral care. He or she must feel confident that the pastor will not just keep to himself what is confided to him, but also that he will know how to handle it

‌wisely. Consciously or not, your church members see you as a representative of Jesus. You come to them in the name of Jesus, therefore they will expect you to act like Jesus would. Your trustworthiness will depend on the extent to which you reflect Jesus in the way in which you speak and listen!

This is what makes pastoral conversations unique. Pastoral care is not like therapy, which focuses exclusively on the person and his or her circumstances. In therapy the focus is inward. Neither is pastoral care the same as preaching. Preaching is one-way traffic: through preaching God speaks to us. In pastoral care there is certainly a place for sharing the Word of God, but first we must listen. As a pastor, you listen to what your brother or sister shares with you and then respond, drawing on the knowledge and experience you have of walking with God. You learn the art of double listening, giving your full attention to the person who has come to you for counselling, while at the same time listening to what God’s Spirit tells you to say in response to what has been shared with you. In pastoral care, then, the focus is not just inward, but upward as well. Pastoral care moves from the inside up, as we take people’s troubles to God.

‌Chapter 2

What is pastoral care?

In order to understand the pastor’s assignment, we must first have a clear understanding of pastoral care. It often helps to start out by considering what pastoral care is not. Pastoral care does not mean you solve all the problems of the people in your care. A lot of pastors have that tendency. Someone will come to you with a certain problem and your first instinct is to start looking for a solution. You want to be there for that person, you want to help. And a lot of people will indeed see you as their last resort. You have to know your own boundaries, especially when it comes to practical matters, such as finances, housing, problems with the government, material or legal issues. What you can do, however – and this may go a lot deeper than mere problem solving – is to come alongside that person in his difficulties. This involves listening to their his story, his complaint, his fears or sorrows. It means empathising, feeling what he feels, and joining him in opening the Bible to seek hope and strength in order to remain standing.

As a pastor you are clearly not called to remove suffering. Jesus did not do that when He was on earth. He healed the sick and helped those who came to him, but he did not take away the suffering of this world. In John 17:15 he prays: (‘My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one’). Jesus overcame the evil and brokenness of this life when he died on the cross, but it will not be taken away until He returns. Until that day God’s children, too, will face suffering, anxiety and sorrow. However, the miracles Jesus performed do show us that He is stronger than sin, that He can heal what is broken, that nothing is too difficult for him. That is how He gave us hope and perspective, showing us that our troubles and cares will not have the final say in our lives, but that he will.

Pastoral care, then, can be defined as follows:

182 Part 4 : Pastoral care – Chapter 2 What is pastoral care?

Pastoral care is drawing near to another person in the name of Jesus in order to seek hope and renewal of life

‌together in his or her situation.

To begin with, therefore, it is important that you introduce the presence of Jesus to the situation, as you are there on His behalf. He commissioned you when He said: ‘Take care of My sheep, feed My lambs’ (John 21:15-17). You can only represent Jesus as a pastor if you are truly connected to Him yourself. Ministering to others begins with ministering to your own soul. Paul instructed pastors in the same way: ‘Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock’ (Acts 20:28). Being a pastor in Jesus’ name requires that you enjoy intimate fellowship with him. A pastor desiring to listen not only to what is told him by the person sitting opposite him but also to what Jesus may want to say to that person, must first get familiar with the voice of Jesus. Being a pastor means saying what Paul said: ‘I no longer live, but Christ lives in me’ (Galatians 2:20).

This also means that pastoral care is not primarily about what you say or do, but about who you are. You yourself are the most important instrument in the pastoral conversation. The way you are, your attitude in life, is what will touch people. And the first thing you will discover as you walk with God is that what matters is not how strong or brave you are, but that you ‘become like a child’. In Luke 9:24, Jesus shares the most fundamental lesson we can learn in life: ‘For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for Me will save it’. In pastoral care the deepest and final question is always: do you trust God? Do you trust in his love for you? Do you trust He will take care of you? As you counsel others in this, you will face this question yourself again and again in the secret chamber of your heart, where you meet with God. Only when you have learned to trust God and to receive His love will you be able to pass it on through pastoral care. This is why pastoral care is not so much a method or a technique as it is a way of life. It means living the life Jesus taught us to live by his example: without the Father, I can do nothing. Yet in the power of his Father he was full of compassion for the people he met and was able to draw near them to offer healing, support and guidance. As a pastor, you, too, may draw near to people in the power of Jesus in order to give them hope and new strength in his name.

‌Chapter 3

The goal of pastoral care

A pastor gets right next to people in the name of Jesus with the purpose of seeking hope and renewal in their situation together. If you truly desire to offer people hope and renewal, your pastoral conversations will always be a mixture of confrontation and inspiration. Both of these poles are indispensable if you seek to bring change and renewal to people who are stuck in life.

Confrontation

Confrontation usually comes first – after you have listened carefully to the person who has come to tell you his or her story. And note that there is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing means you allow a person to tell his story; listening means you make an effort to sense what is driving him, what he is really saying. It means listening for what lies behind the spoken words. Is he trying to vindicate himself, to excuse himself, or perhaps to blame someone else? Confrontation is all about being honest with that person. There are really very few people in our lives who are completely honest with us. Sometimes even a husband or wife does not dare to speak out about what he or she sees in a partner’s life. All too often we cover each other’s mistakes with the cloak of charity – with the result that evil is allowed to fester. This is why James calls on us to be honest, especially when we find one another caught up in difficulties. In writing on how to cope with illness in the church, he says, among other things, that we must confess our sins to one another before we pray for and anoint the sick (James 5:16). If we do not honestly confront the wrong in a person’s life, or the false motives we may discover as he shares his story with us, our pastoral care will remain shallow and ineffective.

Confrontation means placing the other person’s life in the light of God in order to see what has grown crooked or is sinful. This is the prophetic side of pastoral care. Listening prophetically means seeing what is going on deep inside the other person’s heart, sensing what he thinks and feels and then putting the finger on it in the name of

‌Jesus. It means seeing beyond the outward appearance and the fine words and identifying what you perceive in his life. When you confront someone in this manner, it is important to realise that only a confrontation rooted in love for that person will lead him closer to God. Your motive for confronting him is that you desire to deliver him from the bonds in which he is tied up, consciously or unconsciously, you want to heal him from his bad habits, rescue him from negativity. Confrontation must always be aimed at forgiveness of sins and a restoration of the other person´s relationship with God and with those around him. That is the purpose and as pastors we must never lose sight of this purpose: when we confront someone, we are inviting to confess their sin. And when that happens, we may fully proclaim forgiveness (1 John 1:9) and help the other person to step out of the darkness into the light of God´s grace!

Another condition for confrontation in pastoral care is that as a pastor you must never place yourself above the other person, but rather stand beside him as one sinner next to another. A pastor is not a saint confronting a sinner, but a sinner helping another sinner to recognise his mistakes. You cannot point out a speck of sawdust in your neighbour´s eye without recognising the plank in your own eye. This does not mean that as a pastor you will never be able to speak out against anyone unless until you are completely sinless yourself. It does mean that in a confronting conversation you must confess your own sins and vulnerabilities. Then you can stand at the foot of the cross together and be on the same spiritual level. With that awareness you can then lovingly and honestly point out what you see or perceive.

This prophetic listening is really a kind of double listening: while listening to what the other person is sharing with you, you are also listening for what God´s Spirit is telling you, for whatever words or thoughts He may be placing in your heart as you tune in to Him and to the other person. Prophetic listening means listening to a person´s story, while allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your response. It requires that you have become familiar with listening to God´s voice through a life of prayer and meditation on God´s Word. If this is

‌the case, you will receive the right words to speak in the pastoral conversations you engage in.

Inspiration

The other side of the pastoral conversation is inspiration. Inspiration is all about bringing people back to God´s purpose for their lives. It is like opening the curtains and windows in a stuffy, dark and cramped room. People who are suffering can get so caught up in their suffering that there is no room left in their world for anything other than pain, sorrow or shame. Exposing these things to God´s forgiveness and healing enables us to find new space for lifting up our head and looking up again. It enables us to breathe and to look beyond our sorrows and questions in the light of God.

Inspiration means reminding the other person who he is in God´s eyes and showing him his life amounts to much more than his current situation. Inspiring a person means helping him to look at his cares through God´s eyes and bringing him back to life´s essence: do not let your worries rule over you, for you know your heavenly Father knows what you need (Matthew 6:31-32). Jesus ends this encouragement with these words: ‘…seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well’ (Matthew 6:33). Inspiration is all about joining hands in searching for signs of God’s kingdom in the present situation and discovering that He is always in control. It gives us hope and new strength.

Signs of God’s kingdom

In pastoral care, these signs of God’s kingdom usually become visible in any of the following five ways, or in a combination thereof: comfort, healing, deliverance, reconciliation and hope.

Comfort

The first thing to do when you comfort a person is not to rebut their sorrow or despair, but to acknowledge it. Giving comfort means giving a people space to mourn their losses. By acknowledging their sadness we create space for them to truly face it. Unconsciously, most people sense they cannot get around their problems, but they

‌often try – and are encouraged to do so by their surroundings. A pastor’s task is to provide the space a person needs to sound out the depth of his or her sorrow or loss. You can do this, because you know God is there and therefore your counselee will not be lost in a bottomless pit. You can identify the sorrow and give space to it, precisely because you know Jesus is present in it. The cross of Jesus demonstrated that no misery or sorrow is too great for him. He entered into the world’s misery and carried it. This is the unique thing about pastoral care: a lot of people will try to invalidate a person’s sorrow, either by downplaying it, by offering rational explanations or by holding out promises of a better future. ‘Things will be fine’, ‘You’ll find another partner’, ‘You’re still young’, and so on. Offering this kind of response means you are not taking the other person’s sorrow seriously. So make sure that before you do anything else you allow space for sorrow!

Part of facing sorrows or losses is to give them a name. Mention the name of the person who has died, put your finger on the conflict causing so much anger, name the fear, the anxiety or whatever else it is that is weighing down your counselee. Many people do not dare to do this themselves and in many cases their surroundings prefer to avoid it as well, as it makes the person suffering so vulnerable. But the Bible teaches us we must do it nonetheless. After sharing some of his personal sufferings, Paul says: ‘Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong’ (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

To comfort a person is to help him to persevere, to be patient, to keep on living, even when his feelings suggest all has come to nothing. Comforting a person means coming alongside him and encouraging him to keep walking; drawing near him in his suffering and acknowledging it together –not so that he will wallow in it, but, having faced it, will get back up and begin to move on. This is a demanding task for you as a pastor: sharing in the sufferings of different members of your congregation will not leave you

‌untouched. You will taste their sorrow, allowing it to enter into your own heart. It is the only way you can draw near to them. Often, in fact, it is all you can do.

Being a comfort means becoming like the friends of Job who sat with him in his mourning and stayed there (Job 2:11-13). You keep coming back, you keep listening, you stick around quietly knowing that words will not do. You stay near in the name of Jesus. It is worth noting that the comforting effect of the presence of Job’s friends disappears the moment they open their mouths and start groping for explanations for his loss. This is a trap every pastor may easily fall into: the tendency to try and explain a person’s loss, to find reasons for it. We tend to do this too often and thoughtlessly, making superficial statements and presenting general truths that discredit both our counselee and God. Rather than trying to explain suffering that cannot be explained, we should call out to God together from the depth of this suffering. James says: ‘Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray’ (James 5:13). Psalm 130 is a beautiful example of such a prayer: ‘Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy’.

Healing

In addition to giving comfort, pastoral care often also involves healing. Many church members carry external or internal wounds and as a pastor you have the privilege of drawing near to them on behalf of Jesus the healer and offering healing. Jesus clearly states that he came to earth to establish the kingdom of God, that is to say, to restore humanity and creation to God’s rule. He did this in three ways: he proclaimed the gospel, healed the sick and delivered those in bondage. Later, when Jesus commissioned the disciples he gave them the same assignment: ‘When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick’ (Luke 9:1-2). The twelve disciples were not the only ones either – another group of 72 followers of Jesus received the same commission and the same authority. They even cast out demons (Luke 10:17). In the Book of Acts, too, we see the

‌apostles and Paul performing many miraculous healings. Healing must have its rightful place in the church of Christ and therefore also in pastoral care.

The New Testament speaks of the gift of healing in the church of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:9). Evidently, some believers are given special grace to pray for the sick, to lay hands on them and to witness God healing the sick. But the ministry of healing is an assignment for the whole church. This is why James offers instructions on dealing with the sick that do not just apply to those who have the gift of healing, but to the entire body of believers.

At the end of his epistle, James clearly outlines how we are to deal with the sick in the church of Christ. ‘Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed’ (James 5:14-16).

Several things stand out in James’ comments. First, we notice the use of oil to anoint the sick. In both the Old and the New Testaments the anointing a person with oil symbolises a Consecration of that person to God. When the elders of a church anoint a sick person, that are visually and physically demonstrating that he or she is being entrusted into God’s hands and given over to his care. The person´s life belongs to God and therefore his or her healing can only be God´s work.

James emphasises another aspect of prayer for healing by connecting sickness with sin. With healing comes forgiveness, too, he tells us. There are many instances in the Bible in which sickness comes as a consequence of sin. In 1 Corinthians 11:30 a large number of church members are said to be ill, some even fatally, as a result of celebrating communion in an unworthy manner. Jesus, when He was healing people, often said: ‘Your sins are forgiven, take

‌up your bed and walk’. When a person comes to God, he experiences not just physical healing, but complete restoration from brokenness and sin. The divine healer does not deliver half measures! However, we cannot state that every disease is the result of a sin committed by the patient. If that were the case, we would all be permanently ill. When the disciples, on encountering a man blind from birth, asked whether he had sinned or his parents, Jesus replied: ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned’ (John 9:2-3). Job’s deep suffering is not connected to any sins he may have committed either. When his friends suggest otherwise, he has the courage to say he is innocent, calling on God as his witness. James does not say that sickness is always directly related to sin. What he says, literally, is this: ‘If they have sinned…’ (James 5:15). He seems to be referring here to specific sins from the past whose consequences are still felt. These consequences, James says, will disappear after prayer and anointing.

Does this mean that every sick person prayed over and anointed by the elders of the church will immediately be healed? In many cases that is what will happen, sometimes immediately, sometimes after a longer time – but always as a recognisable answer to prayer. However, we know that not every sick person receiving prayer and anointing is healed. The Bibles gives us numerous examples of this, such as Paul, who suffered from a thorn in his flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

Sometimes God’s purpose is to teach us things through suffering that we cannot learn in any other way. Our only option in such cases is to trust ‘that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose’ (Romans 8:28). If we live in this awareness, all of our prayers, including those for healing, will be in line with the prayer Jesus uttered in Gethsemane: ‘Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will’ (Mark 14:36). This prayer reveals a deep intimacy with the heavenly Father. In the very depths of suffering, Jesus calls his Father ‘Abba’, or ‘Papa’. And He confesses that this Papa is the Mighty God who can end the present suffering

‌or heal any sickness with these words: ‘Everything is possible for you’. No problem is too great for God, no sickness is too severe, no suffering is heavy that He cannot lift it. This is why Jesus pleads: ‘Take this cup from me’. Let it end, make the pain, the sorrow and the suffering go away. It is a cry from the depths of the heart! And yet it is followed by a total surrender to God: ‘Yet not what I will, but what you will’. Even in the deepest suffering, we may entrust ourselves completely to God who loves us and is with us. This prayer Jesus uttered in His fear and despair teaches us how we may pray with the sick and the suffering.

Deliverance

In addition to comfort and prayer for healing, pastoral care involves a third element: deliverance from demons. During His time on earth, Jesus delivered many people from the power of demons who had taken possession of their lives. For example, think of the crippled woman (Luke 13:10-13), the mute man (Matthew 9:32), the demon- possessed man in the region of the Gerasenes, from whom Jesus cast out a ‘legion’ of demons (Luke 8:30), or the boy suffering from seizures (Matthew 17:14-18). Many of these demon-possessed people were ill. This does not mean that every sick person is possessed by demons, but some physical and mental symptoms may point in that direction. In this area it is important to ‘distinguish between spirits’ (1 Corinthians 12:10). Well-known symptoms that may suggest demon possession include compulsive or obsessive thought patterns, distorted facial expressions or changes of voice. These symptoms often go hand in hand with an intense hatred of Jesus, the Bible and prayer. Hatred of Christians in general can also be a sign of possession. Again, let me stress that not every person showing these kinds of behaviour is possessed – but such behaviour can be a sign we must take seriously.

The New Testament points out three areas in which demons can be active. They can manifest themselves in the areas of impurity (Luke 4:33), occultism (Acts 16:16) and false teachings about God and the faith (1 Timothy 4:1). Sins in these areas make people vulnerable and expose them to demonic influence. Experience also

‌shows us that curses and ancestral sins can also play a major role in causing bondage.

Jesus clearly taught his disciples that demons can only be cast out through concentrated prayer for deliverance. In Mark 9:29, after they have unsuccessfully tried to cast out demons, Jesus says to them: ‘This kind can come out only by prayer’. This prayer, in the Bible, is always very simple. Jesus prayed for deliverance in this way in Mark 9:25: ‘You deaf and mute spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again‘. In Acts 16:18, Paul used these words: ‘In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!’ Praying for deliverance, then, means praying in the name of Jesus and commanding the evil spirit to depart and not to return to this person.

It is important to realise that this battle of prayer against the devil and his demons always impacts the person praying, too. This is why it is highly advisable to avoid praying for deliverance on your own, but rather to operate as a team – preferably a team that includes both men and women. That way you can complement each other. The men can pray with a man, the women with a woman. It is also important to properly prepare the person you will be praying with. He or she must know what is going to happen. Both the person being prayed for and the persons praying will know whether the demon has departed after the prayer or not. They will experience an inner lightness and space, along with an absolute assurance that the evil spirit is gone. By no means does this always occur after a single prayer; in some cases, it takes many years of prayer. Why some people are delivered in one go and others only after a long and intense struggle, we do not know. What we do know is that we may always place our complete trust in God.

Reconciliation

In addition to offering comfort, healing and deliverance, pastors have another task. In 2 Corinthians 5:19-20, Paul refers to this fourth task as follows: ‘And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though

‌God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God’. This ministry of reconciliation is performed through preaching, when the message of reconciliation and forgiveness is proclaimed, but also through pastoral care, when we share it with people on a personal basis.

In the context of pastoral care, reconciliation, first and foremost, takes place between God and the person to which you are ministering as a pastor. It is a restoration of a broken relationship. Every human being suffers from a breach in his or her relationship with God as a result of sin. Reconciliation with God, therefore, involves the confession of guilt and the receiving of forgiveness: your sins are forgiven you. It is important that the things that have happened in people’s lives are brought into the pastoral conversation and into the light of God. This means there must be room for you as a pastor to ask people about their walk with God. Which place does God have in their lives, does he have the first place, do we love him above all and everyone else? These questions are a vital part of caring for one another. If as a pastor you desire to take God and your church members seriously, you will bring up the topic of their relationship with God.

While the ministry of reconciliation deals with reconciling people to God, it also deals with reconciliation between people. The church of Christ, like any other place in which people live together, can be the scene of quarrels and discord. The unity Jesus prayed for so passionately in John 17 is sometimes hard to find. Most quarrels involve two or several individuals, but in some cases entire churches can get entangled with each other, along with their pastors. These situations go against everything Jesus taught us and they are a terrible testimony to the world around us.

Unity should be the number one characteristic of the church of Christ. Jesus says so in John 13, John 15, John 17 and many other passages. The commandment to love one another is the fulfilment of all other commandments (Romans 13:8,10). God holds it against his children and the church when we fail to live by this love. In the

‌Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says the following about disputes among his followers: ‘Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift’ (Matthew 5:23- 24). In other words, there is no point in praying to God if you are in the middle of a fight with your brother or sister, because God will not listen to you until you have made up. And if things go wrong again, you have to go back and fix them again. ‘How often?’ Peter once asked Jesus. His reply, ‘Not seven times, but seventy-seven times’, means: again and again and again.

Getting reconciled with a brother or sister requires the same step as reconciliation with God: you need to return to your brother or sister. This is the most difficult in situations in which you are convinced you are right and he or she is wrong. But then, too, you are called to return to that person and to ask him or her to forgive you, recognising that things are not right between you. In John 13, Jesus calls us as his disciples to be the least among our brothers and sisters, to wash one another’s feet. Unity is more important than establishing who is right!

What really helps in all of this is to remind ourselves and one another of what Jesus went through to reconcile us with God. He let go of his glory and majesty and became human like us in order to bring us back to God. He took all our guilt upon himself to save us. Considering that, could it be too much for him to ask us to take each other’s guilt upon ourselves? As a pastor, you have the privilege of being the first to put the ministry of reconciliation into practice. It is unacceptable for pastors and churches to be at odds with each other, to malign each other or to openly in engage in quarrels or disputes. A church or pastor that does, loses all credibility in proclaiming reconciliation, forgiveness and grace. Jesus speaks about this in the parable of the man who owed the king a large debt and then had his debt cancelled by the king. The very same day, the man ran into someone who owed him a small amount of money and had him thrown into jail for failing to pay. When the king heard about

‌this, he was furious and the man was punished severely. This is what will happen to pastors and churches who themselves are reconciled by God but then fail to practice the ministry of reconciliation in their dealings with others. As a pastor, you have to set the example in this, helping others to follow.

Hope

Whenever we offer comfort, healing, deliverance and reconciliation, we do not just empathise with people in their sorrow, need or guilt, but we may also show them how to move forward. Sorrow is not easily overcome, sickness does not always pass, deliverance from bondage does not always free a person of every fear or anxiety and full reconciliation often involves a long and difficult path. Your job as a pastor is to offer hope to people in the very midst of all these situations. Often they will have lost all hope and they will have given up believing anything will ever change. Your job is to come alongside these people, not to join them in feeling low, but to show them that there is hope, even in their circumstances. Suffering is not easy for anybody, but as Christians we know that God can use it to help us grow, to make us stronger and to teach us life’s most vital lessons.

In Romans 5:3-4, Paul puts it this way: ‘we (…) glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope’. Through his own sufferings, Paul discovered that what matters is that we persevere, that is, that we keep going even under intense pressure. To better understand perseverance, think, for instance, of the pillars that uphold a heavy bridge. Perseverance is not just sitting around waiting for things to pass by, but rather it is eagerly longing to find out what God wants you to discover through your suffering. Remember that His promise to everyone who believes is that all things – including your difficult situation – will work together for good (Romans 8:28).

This is the encouragement you can offer to people who have given up hoping: ‘Hang in there, God will carry you through this and you will emerge stronger than ever before’. That is the kind of character

‌Paul is talking about in Romans 5. Character, here, means you have been tested, you are experienced and because of your experience you have become better at coping with the trials and tribulations that come your way. This discovery gives you renewed hope and perspective. You can face your sufferings, you find courage to look beyond your present difficulties. Ultimately, hope does not mean you believe everything is going to be fine; rather, it means you are certain that God is with you, that he will not let go of you and that he will carry you.He gives each of us the strength we need to carry our cross. Hope is also an awareness that suffering will not have the final say in our lives, but that Jesus will. Paul stresses this point in 2 Corinthians 4:17: ‘For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all’.

It is important that you teach people to hope, that you teach them that God is there and that their suffering is not a bottomless pit, because their lives are in His hands. You will find that some people will recognise this, while others will not. Some will find an anchor in their troubles, others will seem to drown in them. This does not happen by chance; ultimately, it is a choice. As a pastor you have the privilege and the possibility to teach people that their response after the initial shock of sorrow, sickness or disappointment depends on the choices they make. In almost any situation we encounter as human beings, we have two options: we can get carried away by our sufferings, or we can deliberately and hopefully endure them. In order to choose the latter, your church members need to be instructed and encouraged.

The two most important tools for remaining hopeful and even growing stronger in suffering are prayer and forgiveness. Prayer keeps us connected to God, even when we do not understand him, or when we disagree with how he is leading our lives. Think of Job who in his deepest despair kept calling out to God. Or think of Jesus who in Gethsemane returned no less than three times to beg his Father for deliverance and at the same time to surrender to his will. In addition to prayer, forgiveness is also crucial if we want to avoid drowning in the sufferings caused us by other people. Forgiveness

‌will not protect us from physical harm, but it will protect our soul as it will lift us out of the reach of anger and resentment, preventing those enemies from entering our being. Forgiveness makes us stronger than the evil directed at us. This is what Paul meant when he wrote these words: ‘Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. (…) Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good’ (Romans 12:14,21). It is also what Jesus meant when he said: ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven’ (Matthew 5:44-45) .

These things will not just happen in a person’s life; they are the result of deliberate decisions made under the guidance of the Spirit of God and with the support of a pastor. These decisions enable a person to persevere and to keep the flame of hope burning. They enable us to emerge from suffering stronger than we were before and because of them we need not suffer in vain.

‌Chapter 4

The role of the church in pastoral care

In many churches the pastor, or spiritual leader, is the main person providing pastoral care. He is either approached by church members seeking counsel or goes out himself to visit, talk and pray with members of the congregation. Pastoral care is a major part of a pastor’s job and takes up most of his time. In my experience, many church members will not feel they or their problems have been taken seriously until the pastor of the church has come to visit. Others may come, such as elders, deacons or fellow church members, but ultimately the person they want to see is the pastor.

It was the same in the early church. In Acts 6, we read that as the body of believers grew, providing pastoral care began to take up more and more of the apostles’ time. The Hellenistic believers felt they were being overlooked and brought their complaint to the apostles. These gathered all the believers together, explaining that their main task as apostles was not to provide pastoral care and practical support, but to pray and to preach. They suggested the church choose seven deacons to serve the church during the communal meals and in other areas (Acts 6:1-7). Interestingly, this proposal was perfectly in line with the advice Jethro gave Moses long before (Exodus 18:21, 22). The gist of it was that providing pastoral care should be made the responsibility of a wider group of people in the church and not be left exclusively to the apostles. So we see that in the church of Christ there are different ministries that are involved in caring for its members. In the early days, the apostles and deacons took the lead. Later on Paul distinguished several other ministries and eventually all of the believers were called on to take care of one another, to bear one another’s burdens, to look after each other. The church of Christ is a pastoral community!

Looking after each other involves inspiration, encouragement, comfort. These, too, are the responsibility of every believer. Throughout the New Testament we come across instructions such as these: encourage each other (Romans 1:12), have concern for each

‌other (1 Corinthians 12:25), serve one another (Galatians 5:13), offer hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9) and carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). This means specifically that when someone is suffering, the rest of us in the church suffer with him, or when someone has reason to rejoice, the rest of rejoice with him (1 Corinthians 12:26).

In this way, the body of Christ forms a pastoral community in which not only the pastor offers counsel, admonition or comfort, but in which every member plays his or her part. The unity Jesus so often speaks about finds expression primarily in our care for one another in good times and bad times. It manifests itself on our conversations and the attention we give each other as well as the practical support we extend to one another. Looking after each other does not just mean talking and praying together, it also, emphatically, means sharing. So if one of us is lacking in something, including finances, the church lends a hand. This is how God’s great commandment that we love our neighbour as ourselves becomes a reality in the church!

‌Chapter 5

Personal problems

The range of problems you can run into in providing pastoral care to individual church members is so wide, it would be impossible to cover them all in this part of the Pastors’ Manual. Besides, as a pastor you don’t have an answer to every question anyway. Your job is to listen and to respond in the name of Jesus, to suffer with your church members, stand beside them and pray with them, thus giving them a glimpse of God´s nearness in their suffering or trials. Having said that, however, we must also realise that the Bible offers many surprising answers to life´s toughest questions and cares.

Many of the problems with which people will come to you can be clustered in certain categories. We´ve already looked at sorrow, sickness, guilt and bondage. In this chapter on personal problems, we will focus mainly on problems that come from within and that are tied up with psychological issues, such as depression and anxiety, self-esteem, loneliness, addiction and spiritual problems.

Depression

Many people suffer from negative thoughts and feelings for longer or shorter periods. These dark periods are sometimes related to disappointment in oneself or in others, causing a person to get stuck in a downward spiral. The majority of people manage to get these thoughts or feelings under control, get back on their feet and start again with a positive attitude. But there is also a large group of people who fail in this; they sink deeper and deeper into negativity, until they can no longer get back out on their own strength. They are experiencing a depression and they need good support. You can recognise a depressed person primarily by his gloomy feelings; to the victim of depression, it is as if everything is covered by a blanket of grey.

Depressed people are negative about themselves, they are ashamed of themselves. They are pessimistic, they don’t think anything will work, they have no hope or expectation. Their minds are constant

‌flurry of negative thoughts. They don’t get much done, everything seems too much or too difficult for them, even the smallest tasks look mountainous to them. They are often too tired to get out of bed and nothing – not even their loved ones – interests them anymore. That’s what a depression is like. Sometimes, a depression can have a physical cause, for instance in the case of post-natal depression. Sometimes it is the result of many years of repressed emotions, such as anger or sorrow, or of some crushing experience through which a person has lost him or herself. Depression is also often related to a psychological vulnerability passed on from parents to children, sometimes for many generations.

Many people, especially Christians, feel guilty about having a depression. If you have become negative about yourself and your surroundings, it can be almost impossible to relate to God and faith positively. It is important that as a pastor you point out to people that being depressed is not necessarily a sin – it is a form of sickness that cannot always be helped. In fact, depression is a serious illness that paralyses your mind and your heart. In the Bible we meet numerous depressed people: Job, Jonah, Jeremiah and the author of Psalm 43: ‘Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God’ (verse 5).

This is why it is so important that in counselling a depressed person, you do not issue all kinds of orders and push them to have more faith in God and to try harder to believe. Even more importantly, you must avoid deliberate or unconscious accusations regarding weak faith or a lack of trust. Your depressed brother or sister simply cannot cope for the moment. You wouldn’t tell a person with a broken leg to go and practice jumping over a fence, would you? Neither should you tell a person with a broken spirit to trust harder. What you can tell him is that God will not let go and that even if he feels as though God has abandoned him, He is there and loves them deeply. Keep repeating this time and time again. Regardless of what is happening – or not happening – in the depressed person’s life, the good Shepherd will never forsake him. If he cannot believe, the fellowship

‌must do it for him. If she can no longer pray, you and other believers can pray for her. Stand in for the depressed person and bring him to God, like the four friends did with the paralysed man in Mark 2.

Also, it is important to help him or her take small steps towards becoming active again. Gently encourage him to look after himself, to get out of bed, to get outside. Help him, step by step, to start living again. In this way you will show him there is hope, there is a life for him to pursue.

Fear

One of the root causes of depression and other psychological disorders is fear. People go through a lot of things that can make them afraid and it is important that as pastors we teach them how to cope with fear and what the Bible says about it. Fear has to do with losing control. A situation gets out of hand, you don’t know where things are going and this causes physical and emotional tension. You’re constantly on the alert, danger lurks everywhere and the fear of it takes a hold of you. In itself, fear is a healthy response to danger, but if it starts dominating your life it has become a psychological problem. Fear, then, is related to a conscious or unconscious feeling of being under threat. It occurs a lot in countries plagued by war, persecution and danger. The constant tension of not knowing where the next threat will come from, that feeling of having to look over your shoulder all the time can cause a person to live in permanent fear. And this has a huge spiritual and physical impact; it paralyses and exhausts you. In practice, there are three ways to respond to fear: flee, fight or freeze. Which of these a person chooses depends on character, choices made before and mental strength.

Fear has to do with worry. A person can be overwhelmed by the cares, uncertainties and feeling of being out of control. Jesus addresses this issue in Matthew 6:25-34 when talking about fears regarding the future. Will we have enough food, clothing, will our needs be met? Jesus shows us how best to cope with worries that can seem to consume us. As a pastor, you can pass on this lesson to fearful people you encounter. Jesus says this: ‘Do not worry about your life’ (Matthew 6:25). The words He uses here mean: do not let

‌worrying take over. It is not wrong to have concerns, to think about situations, to be apprehensive or even afraid of certain things. But Jesus says: do not let these feelings take over. Do not let your worries grow so big that there is room for nothing else in your mind. It is a fact that life is full of uncertainties, we never know what tomorrow will bring, but that does not mean we must be afraid. Jesus stresses that we do not have to give in to worries or fear, because the Father will take care of us. Just as He takes care of the birds of the air and the flowers of the field. So the answer to fearing the uncertainties of life is to keep remembering that our heavenly Father knows what we need right where we are, and that He will provide. Do not focus on what you cannot control, instead focus on who God is to you and all these things will be given to you as well’ (Matthew 6:33).

Self-esteem

The Bible frequently points out that God deals with all people equally and without favouritism. In God’s eyes all men are of equal value, of equal importance, equally loved. This is why Jesus declares in John 3:16: ‘For God so loved the world…’ This also implies that God loves all people. To Him each one of us is so precious that He gave His only Son for us, so that we might be saved. If you consider this, there can be no grounds for people to compare themselves with others. Yet it happens all the time. All too often our self-esteem is directly linked to the people with whom we compare ourselves. If we look up to others, we may easily look down upon ourselves. It is a natural human tendency to want to be better and more than those around us. A person who feels he falls short may easily develop an inferiority complex.

So one of the causes of inferiority complexes and low self-esteem is the comparing of ourselves with others – and underlying that is our desire to be more or better. In Philippians 2:3, Pauls says: ‘Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves’. This attitude will help us to avoid comparing and longing to be bigger and better, and instead to rejoice in who others are, while also appreciating our own position as the place in which God has called us to live with and serve him.

‌Self-denial is the opposite of self-importance. But self-denial does not mean you have low self-esteem or think negatively about yourself. The Bible testifies to the unique beauty of each individual person, created in God’s image (Genesis 2), ‘a little lower than the angels’ (Psalm 8:5). In the summary of the Ten Commandments we are instructed to love God above all else and our neighbour as ourselves. There is a healthy self-assurance, inwhich we accept how we were made and what gifts we were endowed with and in which we manage our personal ambitions in a healthy way. As Christians, certainly we may seek to bring out the best in ourselves in order to honour God. The secret is to base our self-esteem on how God made us and not on a comparison with other people.

Not that low self-esteem always results from comparing. Sometimes parents foster a poor self-image in their children by emphasising their limitations and failures. Sometimes bad preaching leads people to believe they are bad and sinful through and through and will never get any better either. Being disappointed in ourselves when we had expected more can also give our self-esteem a knock. All of these thoughts and experiences can eventually create a lasting sense of worthlessness or even self-abhorrence. In pastoral care you will often encounter people struggling with their self-esteem. You can help them, on the one hand, by affirming their beauty, uniqueness and worth. Affirm them in their identity as a man or woman, in their role as a husband or wife, father or mother, brother or sister in the fellowship. On the other hand, you can use the Bible to show them how precious they are to God, teaching them to look at themselves through God’s eyes. This will help them renew their thinking about themselves and their surroundings. If there is one place where any single person’s real value is visible, it is on the cross of Jesus. He gave Himself for each of us. We are so deeply precious to Him that He was prepared to give up everything to reconnect with us!

Loneliness

As a pastor you will often encounter people who feel lonely. Loneliness is that painful inner emptiness we all feel from time to time – that feeling that ultimately you are on your own and that no

‌one really knows or understands you. It is a realisation that there is nobody with whom you are deeply connected. Loneliness is the absence of a soulmate. Loneliness usually has little to do with being alone. The most intense loneliness is often felt in crowds, or even in marriage. It is often a passing feeling, as sooner or later we meet people we can connect with from heart to heart. But sometimes loneliness stays, leaving a person feeling incapable of developing intimate relationships.

Chronic loneliness can have many causes. One common social cause is the distraction provided by television and mobile phones that leaves people with less and less time for quiet conversation and just being together. In cities, people tend to live more anonymously than in rural areas. How a person is raised and reaches adulthood can also influence his or her susceptibility to loneliness. If you were not loved in a healthy way during childhood, or never learned to give, or were never accepted just as you were, your ability to connect with others later in life may suffer. Loneliness can also be a form of escape, of withdrawing from the difficulties of having to be open and vulnerable in friendships or relationships.

As a pastor, you should realise that loneliness is a very common problem, even if it is not often mentioned. The fear of loneliness is one of man’s greatest fears and its roots go back to Paradise, when God saw that Adam had no mate. ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’, God said (Genesis 2:18) and He created Eve to be ‘a helper suitable for him’. Then Adam had someone like himself, yet different, with whom he could share everything. Friendships and relationships are vital to us as human beings and as a pastor you must recognize this and have the courage to out the finger on the sore spot if you see one of your church members suffering from loneliness. Pinpoint the problem, search together for possible reasons why there is no soul mate, emphasising that being alone is not necessarily the same as being lonely: a person can enjoy being alone in a good way, provided he or she also has regular heart-to-heart contact with others. The church can play a vital role in this area. Praying, singing and reading the Bible together is in itself a way of sharing our deeper thoughts. It

‌creates a bond and lays a solid foundation for further conversation and friendship. The church should be a place where people living alone are not lonely. But it requires that we are aware of the issue of loneliness. As a pastor you can play an important role in this.

Addiction

Addictions are another category of problems that can cause intense suffering. Alcohol and drug addiction usually come to mind first, but there are many other, often less visible, forms. Addiction means showing certain behaviour or habits that you can no longer control: you have to do this or that, no matter what. Addiction often begins in small ways, but then rapidly goes from bad to worse until the thing you are addicted to is out of your control – or rather, until it takes control of you. In addition to alcohol or drugs, people can be addicted to work, television, the Internet, sex or pornography, food, sports, smoking.

The Bible addresses the problem of addiction. In 1 Corinthians 6:12, Paul says: ‘“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything’. Anyone who believes in and belongs to Jesus has been delivered from every form of slavery. Sin no longer has dominion over us; we can resist and overcome sinful impulses and desires. In Romans 6:11-12, Paul writes: ‘In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires’. In the power of the resurrected Jesus we can battle and overcome sinful desires and addictions. This is the spiritual basis for the battle against addiction. Our goal is to keep our lives and bodies pure, as the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

With this in mind, you will do all you can as a pastor to help people shake off their addictions, whatever they may be. Here are a few general guidelines for helping people struggling with addiction:

1. Help them to acknowledge their addiction and their need for help.
2. Make sure the addict tells the people around him personally and that they are willing to offer support. Get them to rid the home of
   ‌alcohol or other substances. Get them to guard the television or the Internet and to watch over the addict both lovingly and strictly.
3. Put into practice the Biblical principle that says, ‘Overcome evil with good’ by encouraging the addict to find positive and challenging activities to engage in that will help him or her to persevere.
4. Again and again, take the situation to God in prayer together, praying that the Holy Spirit will guide the addict and those around him and provide strength to persevere.

Spiritual problems

Spiritual problems are the one area with which many pastors feel most comfortable. When people get caught up in any of the problems we looked at earlier, their spiritual life is invariably affected. Body, soul and spirit are a unity and each influences the other in profound ways. But even people who are not facing personal problems such as those above, they can experience intense spiritual struggles. Every believer has his desert periods: periods of spiritual drought in which God seems distant, periods of doubt, in which you ask yourself whether what you belief really is true, or whether you really are God’s child, or whether He really does love you.

People can get into spiritual trouble in a lot of ways. Many believers face the additional challenge of living among people who do not believe, or hold different beliefs. A Christian surrounded by Muslims or Buddhists has to have a solid foundation, as his beliefs are constantly being negated or attacked. But a Christian in a secularised welfare state may also have to work hard to keep the faith in the face of the many forces tempting him away from God. Spiritual dryness can also be the result of a lack of knowledge of the Scriptures and of the Christian faith. The many questions without answers can overwhelm you, causing you to doubt. Others get into trouble as a result of being undisciplined: they spend less and less time reading and praying until eventually there is nothing left but a meaningless habit. It should not surprise us that in John 15 Jesus points out that what really matters is that we ‘remain in Him’ and that the way to do this is to remain in his Word.

‌When someone asks you to help them deal with a spiritual problem, you must realise that he or she sees you as an example. People see you as a representative of God, as someone who knows how things work, someone who is steadfast in the faith. Especially when dealing with people struggling with doubt, it can be helpful to be honest about your own doubts and struggles in your walk with God. This will help them see that their struggles are not out of the ordinary and that you have found a way to cope with similar struggles in a positive way.

Another important thing in talking about a spiritual problem is to rule out any specific causes that may lie at its root. Are there sins that stand between God and this person and that need confessing and overcoming? If such causes are absent, it is always good to ask this question: what might God want to teach you in this period of spiritual difficulty? Is a test of your faith? Hebrews 12 speaks about people going through great difficulties in their spiritual lives and their battle against sin. The chapter is one big call to perseverance. Don’t give up, hold on to your faith, to what the Bible says and to what you have learned about God.

As a pastor – especially in dealing with spiritual problems – you must encourage people to keep reading their Bibles and praying, even if it feels pointless. Psalm 27 says: ‘A day will come when I will once again see God!’ In Hebrews 12:7 we are offered this encouragement: ‘Endure hardship, you are in God’s school learning vital lessons through your current circumstances.’ It is a tough school, but one in which you will learn to keep seeking God, no matter how long it takes. As a pastor, it is your job to help groping believers find Scriptural meaning in their spiritual desert. You can explain what is happening to them and why. By offering teaching on spiritual desert periods, for instance on the basis of the desert experiences of Israel, you will give them a new perspective on their questions and trials and help them to persevere. In every desert, there are both Mara and Elim experiences (Exodus 15:22-27). Your most important tool in all of this, as a pastor, is prayer. Spiritual problems call for spiritual support. Taking time to take a person’s despair to God together is a more wholesome remedy than any other!

‌Chapter 6

Relational problems

In addition the personal problems you may encounter among your church members as a pastor, you will also regularly have to deal with relational issues. Examples include being single, preparing for marriage, marital problems and divorce. We will look briefly at each of these issues in this chapter.

Being single

Adam started out as a single, but God soon observed that living alone was not ideal for the man he had created: ‘The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’ (Genesis 2:18). Then God created a wife for Adam, named Eve. Most singles feel and struggle with the absence of a partner in their lives. At the same, we must realise that not everyone longs to be married or to have a life partner. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul states that both marriage and singleness are a gift from God. In verses 8 and 9, he says: ‘Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion’.

In the same chapter, Paul, who was single himself, contends for the value of being unmarried. Singleness, he says, is not a pitiful state, but offers tremendous opportunities. Paul even says that if you are not yet bound in marriage, you should not actively seek to become so, because once you are married, you will unable to devote your undivided attention to the kingdom of God. ‘An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided’ (1 Corinthians 7: 32-33). The same applies to women. Paul’s conclusion at the end of this chapter (verse 38), therefore, is as follows: ‘So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better’. And in the final verse (verse 40), he says something similar about widows: ‘In my judgment, she is

‌happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God’.

All in all, Paul places singleness in an entirely different light than that in which our society usually sees it. Whereas in our society a single person is seen as someone who has ‘missed the boat’, in God’s kingdom being unmarried means you are able to devote yourself more fully to God and his service. Remember, though, that this deliberate singleness is a gift that is not given to every unmarried person. It is good to take seriously the possibility that people may deliberately choose to remain single in order to devote themselves to God and those around them. Some people make this choice long before ever having had a relationship. Others come to the realisation later, deciding, for instance, not to remarry following a divorce or following the death of their partner. People making this decision must realise they are also choosing for sexual abstinence. It is not without reason that Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that those who feel they may not be able to control themselves sexually are better off getting married.

As a pastor, it is important for you to be aware of the fact that most singles have not chosen to remain unmarried and therefore struggle with their situation. This struggle often involves a deep sense of loneliness. The basic human need for friendship, for heart-to-heart sharing, is as important for them as it is for married couples, but far less readily obtainable. Married people are expected to share that kind of bond, while singles often have to invest far more deliberately.

Another danger to which singles are exposed is that of low self- esteem. A single may easily think no one likes him or her, that there is no other person in the world they can really connect with. ‘What is wrong with me? Why do I not have a partner, or did my marriage fail?’ And trying to connect with the many couples surrounding him can give a single the feeling he is being pushy.

A third challenge faced by singles is that of sexuality. Just like everyone else, single people have sexual desires and feelings. Being

‌unable to have these fulfilled by a partner, they may do it themselves. There is nothing wrong or essentially sinful with masturbation, as long as the person engaging in it does not direct his or her fantasy at a specific person. Jesus warns about this in Matthew 5, when speaking on adultery: ‘Anyone wholooks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart’ (Matthew 5:28). Masturbation exposes a person to the risk of this form of adultery. It also exposes a person to the risk of addiction: with no one there to help you manage your sexual impulses healthily, they can easily take over.

It is important, then, for pastors to be aware of the singles within their communities and to engage with them on the topic of their singleness.

The church is the family of God and should have room for everyone, leaving no one on their own. Encourage families to befriend singles, so that they will be a real part of the greater community.

Preparing for marriage

Even among Christians, many couples have marital problems. A lot of pastoral work has to do with marriage issues. As pastors, we must not just support couples who are in trouble, but also find ways of preventing marital problems. Preparing upcoming couples for marriage is an important part of that. Prevention is better than cure! The church is pastorally responsible for helping couples who wish to get married to prepare themselves in a Biblical way. By the way, the church does not carry this responsibility alone: parents also have a major role to play in this area. The example they set will be followed by their children when they get married. The way they treat each other, communicate and express love will invariably be passed on to the next generation of married couples. So marriage preparation subconsciously begins at a young age, with young folk observing the marriages of their parents.

Part of being a fellowship of believers is to help upcoming couples prepare for their marriage in a structured, deliberate way. This may involve talks with a pastor or with older couples willing to help

‌younger ones on their way. The Bible clearly outlines how God meant marriage to be and it is important that these principles are taught properly. It can prevent a lot of marriage troubles.

The first thing to observe in marriage preparation is that God made both man and woman according to his own likeness: ‘So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them’ (Genesis 1:27). Masculinity and femininity both come from God and are of equal value to him. While men and women are dissimilar, they are not unequal. Especially Christians living in a culture in which women are seen and treated as inferior to men can take a clear stand in this area. A Christian husband respects his wife, because to God men and women are equal and equally precious.

Christian marriage is defined by mutual respect, as both husband and wife were created as God meant each one to be; he loves them both equally and Jesus died on the cross for both. A woman who is that precious in God’s eyes must be treated as precious. The apostle Peter writes: ‘Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life’ (1 Peter 3:7). This realisation will affect how a couple communicate together. It means they will take each other’s thoughts and emotions seriously, show genuine interest and desire to understand each other’s innermost being. Attentive listening and an honest response are among the greatest gifts a husband and wife can give one another. In your partner, God has given you the most precious thing on earth; unwrap this gift from God carefully. Realising that there is more to discover in, and to receive from, your partner will keep your conversations interesting and your relationship alive.

Respect also means that a husband will do all he can to protect his wife. Usually, the husband is the stronger of the two physically and rather than using his strength against his wife, he must use it to help and protect her. Quite specifically, this means a Christian husband will never beat his wife, even in cultures in which this is quite

‌accepted. If you want to convince one another in marriage, do it with words, respectfully, not with violence. Respect is the most important feature in any relationship and by showing respect in a love relationship we show respect for God, who gave us marriage.

The Bible deals extensively with marriage. Both Paul and Peter write about this topic, emphasising that Christians are different from those around them in how they treat each other as couples. In Ephesians 5:21-33, Paul speaks of how a husband and wife are to respect one another, each accepting the other’s authority. He says that we must do this ‘out of reverence for Christ’ (Ephesians 5:21). We submit to one another because Christ wants us to; love does not seek to dominate, but to serve. Jesus demonstrated this when he washed the feet of the disciples in John 13 and on many other occasions. True love is serving and sacrificial; that is the meaning of the Biblical word ‘agape’. It is this love that gives a marriage beauty and strength. And it is this love we may introduce to upcoming couples as they prepare for marriage.

In practice, this means a wife must submit to her husband as to the Lord, Paul explains. ‘For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church’ (Ephesians 5:23). The message here is not that a husband is to boss his wife around, on the contrary, it is that a husband is to love his wife ‘just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her’ (verse 25). Being ‘the head of the wife’ (verse 23) means that a husband holds final responsibility for the wellbeing of his wife and family and that when push comes to shove and decisions have to be made he is the one to do it, after having consulted with his wife. In making decisions he does not serve his own interests, but those of the family. In other words, he must ask himself what Jesus would do in his place. A wife is called upon to acknowledge her husband’s authority and to grant him this role: ‘Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything’ (verse 24). If as a pastor you provide teaching on these Biblical marriage rules through marriage preparation sessions, upcoming couples will have clear guidelines for developing a good relationship.

‌A lot of excellent marriage preparation courses have been made available by churches worldwide.

One is the Alpha Pre-Marriage Course; it is available in many languages. For more information, go to www.themarriagecourse.org or send an email to info@themarriagecourse.org .

Marital problems

Despite the clear marriage guidelines presented in Scripture, a lot of Christian couples run into trouble. It should not surprise us that relational problems occur in this broken world; what matters is that we handle them well. In Genesis 2:24, when God ordains marriage, we read: ‘That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh’. This verse shows us three steps necessary for entering into a good marriage. The three steps, however, also reveal the most common problem areas: the role of the family, disappointment in one another, and differing perspectives on sexuality.

Leaving one’s father and mother

In many countries in the Middle East and Asia it is the custom for newlyweds to move in with the husband’s parents after the wedding. The idea behind this is that the young couple will be able to provide for the parents when they grow old. This intergenerational caregiving is wonderful, but it can also cause huge tensions, especially for the daughter-in-law. Living with his parents often places the husband in a conflict of loyalties, in which he is forced to choose between his wife and his mother. It is in those moments, that a man must be aware of the necessity of ‘leaving his father and mother’. Even though he may share a house with his parents and get along well with them, a married man must share his life to the full with his wife and no longer with his mother. Your wife or your husband comes first, he or she is the one you belong to now, the one you have chosen to live with. With all due respect for parents, it is important to give priority to your marriage partner and to make this evident in the choices you make, even if you live near your parents.

‌Being united with your partner

The second step is to become united in marriage. This means that despite differences in character and physique, husband and wife are to form a tight unit. This unit is built on mutual love and maintained through conscious, ongoing communication. In many marriages, conversations rarely go deeper than ‘How was your work?’, ‘ Are the children doing alright?’ and ‘What’s for supper tonight?’ These topics are inevitable in the daily routine, but it is bad for marriage if a couple never gets further than that. To develop a lasting union, husband and wife must regularly take time to listen, to be there for one another. In order to talk and listen toGod, Jesus says we must set apart a special time and place: ‘When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray’ (Matthew 6:6). It is no different in marriage: we must set apart a time and a place for being together intimately and without interruption. The we will find room to really talk and share, to ask each other deeper questions, such as: What makes you happy? What are you struggling with? How do you feel we are doing as a couple? Do you enjoy our sex life, or not? It may not be the norm in your culture to have this kind of conversation, but it will help you maintain healthy marriage, or fix a damaged one. Love is an attitude and an act, you received one another as a gift, but ongoing enjoyment of each other requires attention, time and effort.

Becoming one flesh

Differing perspectives on sexuality are one of the main causes of marital problems. Because of the fact that man and woman are different and experience their own bodies differently, what God created so beautifully is often a disappointment. A healthy sex life is not to be taken for granted in any marriage. Sex is an expression of the bond of love you share, which means good communication is a precondition for good sex. Good sex without a good bond is not possible. Neither is the opposite: a good marriage bond without sex. In marriage, the physical and the psychological cannot be separated. Sex, too, is an expression of agape, or serving, sacrificial love. A husband and wife having sex, therefore, do not focus primarily on gratifying their own desires, but on giving pleasure to their partner. If both partners take this attitude, they will both be fulfilled sexually.

‌Paul speaks about this in 1 Corinthians 7: ‘The husband should fulfil his marital (sexual) duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer’ (verses 3-6). The call to be there for one another and give ourselves to one another applies the bedroom, too. It is a mutual giving, in which both partners serve one another and focus on each other’s wellbeing.

Marital problems also often occur when one partner believes in God and the other does not, or in which both partners follow different religions. Paul refers to this in 1 Corinthians 7, saying that a brother or sister with an unbelieving partner must not divorce. ‘For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband’ (1 Corinthians 7:14). Don’t try to coerce a partner into believing, rather seek to make the unbeliever envious of your lifestyle, and inquisitive, and thus to bring him or her to Jesus.

Passing on these Biblical guidelines to people having marital troubles is one way in which, as a pastor, you can come alongside them. Note that it is important to have a trustworthy, believing woman from your congregation join you in having conversations with couples. Many pastors involve their own wife in this area of counselling, together supporting the couple who are struggling.

Divorce

Despite the Bible´s clear guidelines and the pastoral care you may offer, some marriages do not hold. In such cases, divorce is ´the impossible possibility´. It was not meant that way, it is not allowed and yet sometimes there is no other way. Deuteronomy 24 speaks of a ‘certificate of divorce’ (verse 1) that is needed when a man wishes to leave his wife. Jesus says: ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning’ (Matthew 19:8). In both the Old and the New Testament, the vital principle is obvious: divorce is not an option,

‌you have promised to be faithful and you must keep that promise. The Bible makes just exceptions: divorce is allowed if your partner has committed adultery, or if your partner wants to leave you because you believe in Jesus and he or she does not. Regarding this latter situation, Paul says: ‘If the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances’ (1 Corinthians 7:15).

It is beyond doubt that God does not want or allow divorce, but that in some cases it is inevitable nonetheless. Think of situations in which a wife is abused by her husband, or in which a husband is emotionally damaged by his wife. What began in love can turn to hatred and if the tide cannot be turned, despite our best efforts, going forward together can become impossible for a husband and wife.

As a pastor you have three focal points when dealing with marital breakdown. Your first job is to do all you can to prevent divorce, through intensive counselling sessions with both partners in which you search for possible causes. Try to find ways in which God’s light can shine into this dark situation to change the partners’ lives and relationship. One theme you must introduce at this stage is forgiveness. In many cases, words and actions will have done a lot of damage, and forgiveness will seem a long journey away. Yet both partners must be prepared to make that journey; if they are not, there is no point in trying to fix things. Your second focal point should be the children, if there are any. Children always pay the highest price for a divorce, losing the safe haven of home and being forced, in their perception, to choose between their father or mother – a choice no child can make. Their interests are of the utmost importance and as a pastor you must try to help the parents minimise the children’s suffering as a result of a possible separation. Try to make sure the parents do all they can to provide their children with maximum stability and continuity. If the couple decide to separate after all, your third task, finally, is to encourage each partner to continue walking with God and to remain a part of the fellowship of believers, despite the failure of their marriage and the disappointment, disillusionment and shame this may involve.

‌Chapter 7

The five characteristics of a trustworthy pastor

With such a wide range of life’s problems calling for your attention as a pastor, you do not have to make it your top priority to become knowledgeable in each and every area. It is not your knowledge that makes you a good pastor, but your character – or, more specifically, your trustworthiness. What kind of a person are you? That is what your congregation will unconsciously sense and why church members will or will not come to you for a heart-to-heart talk or for help in times of need.

Your trustworthiness as a pastor finds expression in five distinct characteristics: you are genuine, you can keep a secret, you live by clear boundaries, you take good care of yourself and you have clear sexual boundaries.

Be yourself

A lot of pastors have a distinct position of authority in their congregation. They are important to church members and are often put on a pedestal. In response to this, many pastors start to behave differently than they did before becoming a pastor. They become more distant and condescending, as if they belong to a a special class of people. They cease to be themselves and begin to act the way they think a pastor ought to act. This is not just sad, it is actually wrong. God called you as you are; he has chosen to put his treasure in ‘jars of clay’ (2 Corinthians 4:7). His apostles and servants are not supermen and women, but common, vulnerable people. This is why it is inappropriate for a pastor to put himself on a pedestal . ‘Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant‘, Jesus said in Matthew 20:26. A servant pastor is characterised by the fact that he does not pretend he is stronger than the rest, but instead is willing to face his own weaknesses. The best pastor is the one who has the courage in his sermons and conversations to testify to his own vulnerability; that is how you truly draw near to people.

‌Be worthy of trust

People will often share their deepest secrets with you as a pastor. They may be struggling with things no one else knows about and in a pastoral conversation it will surface and they will tell you everything. To them, this will often bring immense relief; but to you as a pastor, it means being given a huge responsibility. You have to be prepared to carry that responsibility, because if you cannot promise confidentiality, people will no longer feel free to be honest with you. Confidentiality is difficult. It goes against our nature: every one of us has a natural tendency to share with others the things that touch, disturb or excite us. In cultures in which people like to talk a lot about others, it is also goes against the grain. But as pastor you must promise your church members that you will treat whatever people share with you confidentially. Your trustworthiness represents God´s trustworthiness and a breach of confidence may damage the relationship between God and the person who has come to you for help.

If you feel you really must consult with a third person about a certain problem, for example your wife or a member of the church council, then you must only do so with the express permission of the brother or sister whose problem it is.

There are exceptions to the confidentiality principle. In the case of serious suicidal tendencies, the threat of murder or sexual abuse, you may legitimately break your confidentiality promise as a pastor. In all three cases, your first priority must be to try and persuade the person in need to seek out professional support. Failing that, offer to do it for him. If he does not authorise you to do that, you must report to the legal authorities in order to protect him, or those around him, from (further) serious injuries.

Know your own boundaries

When it comes to boundaries in pastoral care, the very first boundaries to recognise are those that demarcate your own responsibilities as a pastor. Many pastors get so many calls and visits from church members that they hardly have time to attend to

‌sermon preparation, their own family or their personal spiritual wellbeing. That is not right. For good reason, Paul encourages Timothy with these words: ‘Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock’ (Acts 20:28). This means there is a limit to the availability of the pastor. But how do we determine the limit?

One of the toughest questions you face as a pastor is: when do I step back myself and refer a person to a doctor, a psychologist or some other professional? You may need several few counselling sessions to identify the problem and to search together for the best way forward. So it is important that not to refer a person to an external specialist too quickly, without taking time to really listen and empathise. Even if you are not sure what to do, don’t push the problem aside too quickly, or your counselee will feel you have not taken him or her seriously. Searching and exploring together will create a bond that will benefit you both in the process that will follow. Having said this, you also need the courage and wisdom to be clear when you have a reached a point, or touched an issue, that is beyond your scope as a pastor. Then it is time to refer him or her to an external professional. A pastor is no specialist; his calling is to stand by people on behalf of God to place their situation in His light. This means that when you do refer someone, you do not let go of him, but you keep backing him as a pastor. Someone else is now going to take up the issue with him, but you will faithfully support and empathise with him in the name of Jesus! You will keep visiting, not primarily to solve problems, but to present them to God together. That is now your task as a pastor.

Your counselling sessions are another area in which you need to set limits for yourself. Ask yourself how long you allow sessions to last and how often you visit certain individuals. People love getting attention from their pastor, but the risk is that they end up relying more on him than on God. Jesus taught us an important lesson when he told his disciples: ‘But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you’ (John 16:7). If Jesus said it was better for us that he went away, surely it is even more important for a

‌pastor step back at the right time. We must learn that we are not the ones rescuing this man or woman, but that God will carry them. We can tell them that and demonstrate it on behalf of God by listening and empathising, but having done that we must then deliberately place them back in God’s hands and leave. That way there will be room for God’s Spirit to move on with them. So as a pastor you have to listen and support, but then you have to let go and leave. When and how you should do that is a matter of wisdom and sensitivity. The point is that people must rely on God, not on you.

Look after yourself

One of the reasons for setting yourself boundaries is that there is a limit to what you can do. Some pastors can take on more than others, but we all have our limits. Working so hard as a pastor that you neglect yourself or your family will neither honour to God nor build up the church. On the contrary, it is a poor testimony. As if God’s kingdom and his church depend on your exertion! Be aware of your boundaries, remember that a pastor needs a day of rest, too. If God himself rested after six days, surely his servants, should also. God commands us not to work for seven days at a stretch, not even in the church!

Make sure you devote enough time and attention to your wife and children: they need you. Enjoy their love. Set apart times for relaxation and physical exercise: God gave you your body, too. A pastor who has found a healthy balance between exertion and relaxation will be able to keep serving the church with renewed strength, without burning out.

Beware of sexual boundaries

If as a pastor you are intensely involved with a female church member, be sure you do not unwittingly allow the spiritual bond you share to evolve into amorousness or lust. It may happen before you know it, even if you never intended it to. This is why it is vital that you set yourself clear boundaries when it comes to interacting with members of the opposite sex. First of all, avoid being in a home or office with a member of the opposite sex while no one else is there. If

‌you are in a room with a woman, always keep the door open to avoid false rumours or ideas. Do not allow yourself any involvement with a female member of your congregation outside of your pastoral tasks to avoid false appearances and to protect yourself from developing inappropriate feelings. Also avoid private contact with other women on social media. Be cautious about hugging and touching, too, as these gestures can be easily misunderstood.

When counselling a member of the opposite sex, the best safety measure is to get another woman, or your own wife, to be present with you. It can make talking easier and will certainly help prevent inappropriate comments or conduct. Your wife can also offer physical comfort, such as a hug, to the female counselee. You can talk and pray with a female church member, but you shouldn’t touch her, not even to comfort her. Leave that to your wife or another trustworthy woman. This will help you keep this contact pure and the boundaries clear. It will protect you and your family as well as those you counsel!

‌Chapter 8

Basic pastoral skills

In order to provide effective pastoral care, every pastor should have a number of basic conversational skills. Of course, being a good pastor calls for many different skills, but these four skills are the foundation: listening actively, responding reflectively and helping assertively. These may seem obvious, but I’d like to focus on the adjectives attached to each skill: they make the difference.

Listening actively

Rule number one in pastoral care is to allow the other person to talk. You may be visiting someone, or a person may have contacted you, and after you have sat down and exchanged small talk for a few minutes, just to break the ice, you invite the other person to start sharing: ‘What is it you wanted to talk to me about?’ A question like that shows that you have come to listen. It means you intend to devote your full attention to the man or woman sitting across from you. Make sure you do not just focus on that person outwardly, but inwardly as well, by blocking out any distracting thoughts or feelings. Turn off your mobile phone before the meeting begins! Take plenty of time for a heart-to-heart conversation. A quick exchange will never result in a meaningful pastoral conversation. Set the time apart and be clear about this with the other person: ‘We have an hour, so please take your time.’

Devoting genuine attention to a person also means that before the meeting begins you take it to God in prayer. Ask God to open your ears and heart to the person you will be seeing. Pray that you will be given the wisdom, insight and sensitivity of the Spirit to recognise what lies behind the spoken words, in the depths of this other person’s heart. Praying for that person and for your conversation before it begins is the best way to prepare yourself for truly listening.

Active listening involves active watching. Often, the most telling information is communicated non-verbally. A person’s body language often speaks louder than his or her words. As you develop

‌your observation skills, you will find a person’s body, voice or eyes may tell a different story than their words. If this is the case, trust what you see: it tends to be more genuine than what you hear.

As an active listener, you do not just let the other person talk, but you ask helpful questions now and then. Sometimes you may ask for more information to clarify the situation. Sometimes your questions will be more penetrating, as you encourage your counselee to go deeper. Make sure you use open questions, that is, questions that invite your counselee to bring more of their story to light. Closed questions, by contrast, tend to put words in someone’s mouth; as a pastor, you should try and avoid them. So don’t ask: ‘Did that make you angry?’ but instead try this: ‘How did that make you feel?’. An open-ended question like this will encourage the other person to share more of his or her feelings and experiences.

Responding reflectively

After the counselee has spent some time talking and you have asked a few questions, it will be your turn to respond. A pastoral response is not the same as giving your opinion on what you have heard; if you do that, the other person will stop talking. The first thing to do when you respond is to make sure you have properly understood your counselee. The way to do this is to sum up what he or she has told you in your own words. Using your own words is important, as it will allow the counselee to listen to his or her own story and to how it has come across.

This approach to listening and responding requires a large degree of empathy from you as a pastor. If you cannot put yourself in the other person’s position, you will not be able to give words to his or her feelings and experiences. It calls for open ears and an open heart, you have to draw near to the other person in listening, while at the same time trying to imagine how you would feel in his or her position. Doing this will help you to get closer to your counselee and to respond reflectively. Here, too, of course, there are boundaries to respect: you may imagine what the other person feels like, without allowing yourself to get carried away emotionally. Your job is to

‌manage the conversation. In order to keep responding reflectively, you need both nearness anddistance. Imagining what he or she has done, felt or experienced is not the same as endorsing it. Make sure you always allow yourself room to stand above or step outside the actual situation, otherwise you will be unable to offer real help. A pastor who only empathises cannot help his counselees move forward, which is the whole point: people come to you for empathy and for assistance!

Helping assertively

Once you have genuinely listened to the other person and taken the conversation forward by responding reflectively, the issue or need that lies at the heart of the other person’s story will gradually emerge. In some cases, your listening and empathy will be enough to help your counselee go back and face their struggles. But often a counselee is stuck in a situation and needs real help. Your task as a pastor, usually together with the family and the church, is to support him or her with words and actions aimed at creating a breakthrough in the situation.

We call this ‘helping assertively’. Assertive does not mean aggressive. Aggressive helpers are more occupied with their own performance than with the wellbeing of their counselees. They make decisions for him or her, get angry, accuse or humiliate. Their aim is to force a change, but in reality they often make things worse than they already were. The opposite of an aggressive pastor is a passive pastor. A passive pastor does not take responsibility for helping counselees because he is either too insecure or too lazy. He allows problems to fester without intervening. He doesn’t have the courage to say ‘no’ to evil or wrongdoing or ‘yes’ to battling it. This kind of pastor, too, allows other peoples’ situations to go from bad to worse.

An assertive pastor will often challenge the counselee to take a clearer stand for what he really thinks, feels or desires. Pattern easily get stuck in fixed patterns. An assertive pastor can challenge them to take specific steps towards breaking through those patterns and

‌finding a new perspective. This can apply to issues in the family in marriage, at work or in church. People can run aground in any of these settings. The steps needed to get back on one’s feet and start afresh can be scary. As a pastor, you can encourage people in this, offering counsel and empathy, help and support. For example, you might ask questions like these: ‘What possibilities do you see?’, ‘What do you want your life, or this specific situation, to look like one year from now?’

Shalom

Ultimately, God holds both the beginning and the end of our lives in his hands. If there is anything that can give us hope, courage and shalom, it is the deep confidence that God is with us, that our lives are in His hands and that there is nothing He cannot use to contribute to our shalom!

‌Part 5

Organising the church

‌Part 5 : Organising the church

Introduction. 229

1. What is a church?. 231
2. Love God above all else. 235
3. The fellowship of the saints. 241
4. The serving church. 244
5. The witnessing church. 248
6. The structure of the church. 251
7. Leadership in the church. 254

‌Introduction to part 5

Organising the church

Wherever people come to faith, they begin to meet together and form a faith community. This began with the first Christians who came to faith on the Day of Pentecost. They came together in each other’s homes not only to receive teaching from the Scriptures and to pray, but also “to fellowship”(Acts 2:42). A few verses after this, we read that “All the believers were together and had everything in common” (verse 44). Believing is not something you do alone. The moment you come to faith in Jesus, you become a part of his body, a member of a very large, worldwide family. This family includes young and old, men and women, black and white, rich and poor. All these completely different people are bound together by the fact that each one has responded to Jesus’ voice, received the same invitation from God, and said ‘yes’. Each person who comes to faith gives his life to God and God then gives us to one another in order for us to follow and obey Jesus together and serve one another. These two aspects of Christianity are the pillars on which every congregation of Christ rests: honouring God and serving one’s neighbour.

In this light, we can see the church as a place in which together we can practice following the instructions that God gave us back in the Ten Commandments and that Jesus used to sum up the law: to love God above all else and to love one’s neighbour as oneself. We put this into practice when we honour God in our church services by singing together, praying, listening to his Word, baptising, and celebrating communion. We also practice this at other times in the church, such as when we give or receive teaching about who God is and how we are to walk with him. That is how we honour God. And we serve one another and our neighbour in Jesus’ name through various forms of caring in the church. We encourage one another in the faith, we help each other through difficulties, and we share practical resources. But the church’s assignment to serve is broader than this. We are to serve not only each other, but everyone we meet – and we are to do this in Jesus’ name, giving witness to the One who

‌leads us in all of this.

This fifth part of The Pastors’ Manual is about the organisation of the church of Christ. If you have been called to lead the church as a pastor, it is important for you to know which Biblical principles apply to the Christian church and how God wants His church to function. When Jethro counselled Moses on how to lead the Israelites through the desert, his fifth and final word of advice was: “Select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens” (Exodus 18:21). With these words, Jethro provided a model for leading not only God’s people, but also the church of Christ.

‌Chapter 1

What is a church?

The body of Christ

Organising your church begins with a Bible-based vision of the church. We will discover this vision if we look at the imagery the Bible uses to describe the church. Paul sometimes refers to the church as the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:32), as a family in which we are each other’s brothers and sisters and God is our Father (2 Corinthians 6:18) and as a house built for God with living stones (1 Peter 2:5).

The image used most in Scripture to describe the church, however, is that of a body. In 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, Paul also elaborates more on this image than on others. Christ is our head, He leads the church (Ephesians 1:22-23 and 4:15-16). We who belong to the church are the members. We are all different, but inseparably bound up together. The hand and the foot cannot do without each other, and both are controlled by the head. If the church is Christ’s body on earth today and every church member is a part of it (1 Corinthians 12:27), this means the church is called to do in today’s world what Jesus did when He walked this earth. We are to serve God as He did, to learn to see things the way He did, to listen as He listened, to go where He would go to do what He would do. The church is to live on earth following the example set by Jesus. She represents Jesus now. Our head, Christ, is in heaven, but we are to be His hands and feet here on earth. What a privilege and what a task!

The suffering of the church

So the church lives on earth just as Jesus did when He was on earth. This means the church follows the same path, a path leading from cross to crown. Being a church means living under the cross. Like Simon of Cyrene in his day, we follow Jesus, carrying the cross (Luke 23:26). Simon went to Jerusalem to worship God, but was called to serve God by bearing the cross. Following Jesus as a church also means carrying the cross: “Whoever does not take up their cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me”(Matthew 10:38). This carrying of the

‌cross as a church means oneness with the suffering of Christ. Jesus himself said: “A servant is not above his master, so you will be persecuted, too”. This does not just apply to individual followers of Jesus, but also to His church.

The suffering of the church, first of all, Jesus says, occurs “when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me” (Matthew 5:11). Persecution has many faces. Sometimes it means imprisonment or even being tortured to death because of your faith in Jesus. At other times it takes on a subtler, legal form, or involves harassment or ridicule. Every church of Christ knows the experience of not being accepted in this world, regardless of how this rejection is expressed. In the words of Jesus: “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you” (John 15:19). The church is only truly the church of Christ if she knows this suffering. It is the pain of being strangers, outsiders in society. It means being misunderstood and hated.

But this is not the only kind of suffering the church undergoes. As the church of Christ we also suffer under the brokenness of the world we live in. We pray with the words of a Christian leader: “Lord, let our hearts be broken by what breaks your heart”. The church suffers under the suffering of this world, she joins the whole creation in groaning (Romans 8:22-23). It is the suffering of empathy, it means weeping about things that happen, just as Jesus wept over Jerusalem.

A third form of suffering the church experiences is suffering under the sin and evil so prevalent in this world. The church sees this evil, puts its finger on sin and prays for forgiveness for those who sin against others or themselves. It means suffering under evil just as Jesus did on the cross, when He prayed: Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34). The first martyr, Stephen, prayed similarly to his saviour: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them”(Acts 7:60).

‌A fourth form of suffering occurs when as a church we suffer under our own sins. As believers we know that the power of sin was broken by Jesus on the cross and that, therefore, we are free and able to live without sin. At the same time, we share Paul’s experience: “I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing” (Romans 7:19). Suffering under our own sin as a church often means suffering under a lack of unity, both within our own congregation and among different congregations. The unity Jesus so eagerly desired (John 15 and 17) is so often lacking; self-interest so often takes priority over Christ’s interests. Blessed is the church that truly suffers under this failure: it will surely transcend itself.

Thus the church’s path in life is like the one Christ walked on earth: it is the path of the cross. A church without suffering is no church at all! Jesus gained the victory, but ultimate deliverance will not be ours until his return. Until that time, the church joins Paul in saying: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of His resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11). We know His kingdom will break through, but until it does we suffer for Christ’s sake and wait “more than watchmen wait for the morning” (Psalm 130).

The dual orientation of the church

The church suffers and eagerly awaits the return of her Lord. In the meantime, we do not sit still in a corner, but get on with our commission. As a church suffering in a broken world we have a dual commission: to love God above all else and to love our neighbour as ourselves. This means the church is also moving in two directions: inward, in honouring and worshipping God, and outward, in serving and witnessing to those around us.

The apostle Peter puts it like this: “you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9). So the church is made up of people God has chosen and set apart from those around them. We have

‌been called from the darkness of a life ruled by sin. This is why in his epistle Peter refers to the believers as exiles. Our goal, therefore, is not to be successful in this world. The goal we have as the church of Christ is to honour God and to serve our neighbour. So, God sends the same people He has called out of the world back into the world to declare his praises. God does not just want to save those He has called to become a member of the church, He wants to use them to extend that same invitation to others. The church is a community of saved people commissioned to go out offer others salvation.

‌Chapter 2

Love God above all else

We saw in the first chapter that the church moves in two directions: inward (honour God) and outward (love your neighbour). The inward orientation, honouring God, involves two aspects that we will look at in this chapter and the next.

The church is the place on earth where believers come together to honour and worship God together, because they love God more than anything else. This inward orientation is part of the church’s calling as “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation” (1 Peter 2:9). The church, in the first place, is a fellowship of believers who are committed to their Lord and come together to worship Him. The first place to hear the heart-beat of the church, therefore, is the worship service.

The worship service

What does it mean to worship God in a worship service? Psalm 105:1-3 offers a beautiful description: “Give praise to the LORD, proclaim His name; make known among the nations what He has done. Sing to Him, sing praise to Him; tell of all His wonderful acts. Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice”. There is nothing we would rather do as a church than to join believers all over the world in singing about who God is, what He has done and what he is still going to do. The worship service is characterised by concentration on God; it is all about Him. In this way we give God the place of honour He deserves in our congregation and in our personal lives. During the worship service, we realise once again: “From Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen” (Romans 11:36).

Worshipping together

Of course, you can worship God when you are alone or at home, there is something special about worshipping in the congregation, with the whole church. Our worship services connect us with one another and with believers worldwide. In the worship service we get

‌a taste of what Paul describes in Ephesians 3: “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge— that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19). We need each other, both in the local church and in the worldwide church, to rise above our own limited existence in worshipping God and to discover more and more of his greatness and goodness together. Singing together is not the same as singing on your own. Praying together is also different than praying alone. Jesus says: “If two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:19-20). So worshipping God together really has an extra dimension.

Worshipping in the Spirit and in truth

In his encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4), Jesus speaks about worshipping God. He stresses that what matters is not where or exactly how you worship God, but that we worship him “in the Spirit and in truth” (John 4:24). This means worship is not about fixed habits or rituals. It is not a religious custom, but a spiritual fellowship with God. It is not the place or the time that matters, but the attitude of our heart. Worshipping God in the Spirit and in truth means turning our whole hart to God and being honest and sincere in our worship. You can come to God and worship him just as a child comes to his father to sit on his lap and to enjoy his nearness and loving care.

Baptism

The worship service is not only a place and time for the church to read and listen to God’s word and to sing and worship him together, it is also the place where new church members are baptised. The worship service is the best place to do this, because baptising is also a form of worship.

Jesus commissioned the church to baptise new converts when He

‌sent out His disciples: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). People in Jesus’ day were familiar with baptism in water. John the Baptist offers us the most well-known example. Crowds of people came to him to be baptised in the River Jordan. It was a baptism of repentance and forgiveness of sins. It involved confession of guilt and the baptism itself symbolised the washing away of guilt and forgiveness by God. It was also a bath signifying new life and a new obedience to God (Matthew 3:5-6). Jesus also received this baptism from John. In this way He immersed Himself in the sins of the people, showing His intention to take upon Himself all our sin and brokenness. But when Jesus came to be baptised, John said: “I baptise you with water… He will baptise you with the Holy Spirit and fire” (Matthew 3:11). John meant that thanks to Jesus the outward, symbolic cleansing and change brought about for believers by water become inward and real through the Spirit.

Whoever is baptised belongs to Jesus. Being immersed in water is symbolic for dying and rising up from the dead with Jesus. Paul writes in Romans: “Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptised into Christ Jesus were baptised into His death? We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with Him in a death like His, we will certainly also be united with Him in a resurrection like His” (Romans 6:3-5). Being baptised means accepting what Jesus did for us when he died on the cross and rose from the grave. He did that for us, with our names and lives in mind. When we are baptised, God shows us it is truly for us, that we, too, died and were raised with Jesus. It is like parents paying off a college debt for a child and giving their son or daughter a document to prove it. The son or daughter will experience relief and a sense of being delivered from debt. In a similar way, baptism is like a statement undersigned by God that you have been delivered.

Baptism also marks the moment when as a believer you deliberately

‌say to God that you want to be His child and that you will always love and serve Him. In that sense, it is like a marriage between Jesus and the believer. He has demonstrated His love and now He asks us whether we will love Him, too. In baptism, we publicly say ‘yes’ to Him.

A baptism with water in the worship service, therefore, marks a special moment in the life of the believer. The water is symbolic, yet at the same time something very real takes place in the life of the person being baptised. The water shows us something of what God promises the Holy Spirit will now do. Something really changes in the heart and life of the person baptised. You now truly belong to Jesus and are bound up with him in every way. It means you are the recipient of all His love and grace, but also that you promise to place your life in His hands and to follow Him.

Does this mean believers who, for whatever reason, have not yet been baptised will not be saved and are not bound up with Jesus? No, it does not mean that. A believer can experience with Jesus what a man and a woman experience who love each other and share an intense connection even though they are not yet married. We do not need baptism in order to believe, but it does mark a special mutual commitment between God and ourselves. A person who has not received the sign of baptism is no less loved by God, but that public, visible and tangible confirmation of his relationship with God is absent.

Finally, it is important that when we baptise new believers, we do not only use water as a symbol of cleansing and of dying and being raised with Jesus, but also that we always baptise in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. In baptism, the triune God demonstrates his covenant with this believer as Father, Son and Spirit. The Father gives his love and care, the Son offers forgiveness of sin and the Spirit brings about a changed life. In this way God connects His name and heart to our name and to our entire life. As we become aware of what takes place when a person is baptised among the fellowship of believers, we cannot help but worship God!

‌The Lord’s Supper

Another celebration frequently held in the church of Christ, in addition to baptism, is communion, or the Lord’s Supper. This is also a commandment of Jesus. Paul says clearly in 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 that he “received from the Lord” what he passed on to the believers (see also Matthew 26:26-29). Each time we break bread and drink wine as a congregation, we are reminded of what Jesus did when He gave his life for us on the cross. “Do this in remembrance of me” (1 Corinthians 11:24). So when we celebrate the Lord’s Supper, as when we conduct worship services, we are to concentrate on Jesus Christ and what He has done for us. Thus celebrating communion is another form of worship: you focus on Jesus and praise Him for His sacrifice for us on the cross.

In baptism we are connected once and for all to Christ in His death and resurrection. The celebration of the Lord’s supper offers us a reaffirmation of this several times a year. Again we hear about Jesus atoning death and we may feel with our senses that it is true and that He did for us. In breaking the bread, we realise that He allowed His body to be broken when He suffered and died on the cross. When we drink from the cup, we realise His blood was shed when he gave His life for us. He took my place and died for my sins, thereby offering me a new life with God. Amazing grace, amazing love! Each time we celebrate the Lord’s supper together and turn our minds and hearts to Jesus and His death on the cross, we are reminded of this.

There is a lot of debating in the church as to whether the bread and wine literally are Jesus’ flesh and blood. To me, the key issue in this discussion is that our partaking of the bread and the wine takes on a special meaning when we do it “in remembrance of” Jesus: the moment we eat the bread and drink the wine, something very real does happen in our hearts and lives. Heaven and earth touch and God is near in a very special way. As we eat and drink, we physically partake in Jesus’ sacrifice for us and we cannot help but praise and thank Him in song and prayer. The Lord’s Supper, like baptism, belongs in the church’s worship service. Both sacraments lie at the heart of our life with God and will invariably lead us to worship Him!

‌Like baptism, celebrating communion centres on the bond between the believer and his or her Lord. This is why only believers are to participate in communion. And believers, Paul tells us, must be very conscious of participating with the right inward attitude: “For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves” (1 Corinthians 11:29). Ask yourself, therefore, whether you are really focused on Jesus and do not participate in the Lord’s Supper carelessly. If you celebrate it with the right attitude, you will discover that concentrating on Jesus will cause your own soul to rise up in gratitude and joy.

‌Chapter 3

The fellowship of the saints

Honouring God as a church is not only done by worshipping, it is also done through the bond we share as fellow members of the church of Christ. The church often refers to this as ‘the fellowship of the saints’.

Koinonia

The Biblical word for this fellowship, this bond we share as believers, is the Greek word koinonia. It denotes a deep, spiritual bond that affects all our interactions. There is a lot more to it than just getting to know each other a little better; it even goes further than friendship, as it is not based on our personal preferences. It is a soul connection, a bond between people who have been through the same experience: we have all been saved by Jesus, we are all related to one Father, we are all on the way toward the same eternal joy. John talks about this special bond between believers In 1 John 1: “We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ” (1 John 1:3). Our fellowship as believers, then, originates in the fellowship, the koinonia, between Father, Son and Spirit. As believers we are drawn into this bond of love, we are allowed to become a part of it. Jesus prays for this: “I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me” (John 17:22-23).

God’s koinonia, then, is the source of the koinonia among the believers. It is not our love for one another, but God’s love within us that opens our hearts to one another. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Our fellowship springs from God’s fellowship with us. It does not, therefore, depend on our good will, rather we are given to one another by God and His love breaks open our hearts. This means the fellowship we enjoy is a gift from God, a gift of pure grace in which we are allowed to share.

‌This intimate bond we share, characteristically, rests on the realisation that our lives are built on one and the same foundation. Our identity is no longer determined by whether we are male or female, rich or poor, black or white, highly educated or hardly educated at all. Our identity lies in the fact that we are all children of the heavenly Father: we are all brothers and sisters of Jesus. We are God’s children – that is what determines everything, what unites us. Paul states this clearly: “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). Our unity in Christ transcends all these differences. They no longer matter or hinder us, because the love of Jesus transcends all social, cultural and ethnic differences between people. This does not mean there are no more differences; it means we no longer use our differences to exclude people, but rather that we include one another in the body of Christ. Our very diversity enables us to serve one another and thus to glorify Jesus. Quite practically, this means we may ask ourselves individually how we can serve the church as a whole with our unique qualities, whatever those may be.

Spiritual fellowship means sharing what we have received or learned from God. For example, think of what Paul wrote to the believers in Rome. He longed to meet with them: “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Romans 1:11-12). Within the church of Christ we share our spiritual gifts with each other, the things we have discovered in our walk with God and with which we can bless others. For example, think of helping each other to understand the Bible better. Or to learn to recognise God’s voice when we pray. These and other gifts of the Spirit, the so-called charismata, have been given to the church. Not every believer has every gift, but together all of the gifts are present in the church. This means we can only experience the fullness of the Spirit in fellowship with one another. We need each other in the church in order to discover the many gifts of the Spirit and to apply them in our daily living.

‌Where this koinonia reigns, people do not only share everything spiritually, but also materially. This was immediately evident among the first Christians in Jerusalem. The Bible tells us: “All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need” (Acts2:44-45). A little further into the Book of Acts, we read again that “that there were no needy persons among them”, because they looked after each other in everything (Acts 4:34-35). Koinonia, or fellowship with one another and with Jesus, means there are to be no differences that might hinder us from loving one another. If one member of the church of Christ is very wealthy and another is very poor, the former will help the latter. This is not a commandment, but the natural outcome of love and fellowship. You just do it, without questioning, without grumbling, without objection. By the way, this does not only apply to money and possessions, but also to the giving of time and attention. Within the church of Christ we are there for each other, to talk, to encourage, to help lend a helping hand, to give genuine attention. There is no need for anyone within the church of Christ to lack anything – whether spiritually, socially or financially!

‌Chapter 4

The serving church

We have seen now that as church members we have an inward orientation that leads us to worship God and have fellowship with one another. At the same time, the church has an outward orientation. This outwardness centres on two assignments: serving and witnessing.

Salt of the earth and light of the world

‘The believers, and therefore the church, are the salt of the earth and the light of the world,’ Jesus says in Matthew 5:13-14. This means two things. To begin with, the two images Jesus uses here tell us that we are to be distinctly different from those around us, there is to be a clear contrast between the church and the world. We are not the rice or the potatoes, but the salt sprinkled on them. We are not the main course, instead we are the flavouring. Salt is used in every home to add flavour. A Christian is someone who makes different choices than the people around him, because his priorities are different and he is not self-serving. This attitude sometimes bothers people around us, or surprises them, but at least it makes them think. In Jesus’ day salt had another function: it was used to prevent food from going bad. For instance, meat was preserved by rubbing salt on it; that way you could store it longer. This, too, is the task of every believer. You are different, you are salt, which means you resist evil in society: bad morals, wrong choices, self-centredness, abuse of power, pure materialism or corruption. You combat injustice and poverty, loneliness and lack of care, exploitation and abuse. A believer is someone who adds flavour and resists decay.

This is also applies to the role of the church in society. In villages and cities, the church of Christ is the salt of the earth, the light of the world. The local church has received all it needs from the Lord Jesus Christ and this is the commission he has given: “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). As a congregation you are salt and light by default, simply because you

‌belong to the body of Christ – but what you do with that is your responsibility. That is why Jesus says in this passage: you are salt, you are light, but do not let the salt lose its saltiness and make sure you let your light shine. The church, because of what she is, has a job to do in this world. Being salt and light is both a gift and a task!

Serving

The church has been called to serve its surroundings. Many Bible passages speak of this. In Jeremiah 29, the people of Israel, having been defeated by the armies of Babylon, has been exiled from Israel to the city of Babel. There the Israelites find themselves strangers and exiles in an alien environment: they do not feel at home there and would like to leave as quickly as possible. False prophets appear, promising them that God will soon get them back to Jerusalem, but God gives the prophet Jeremiah a very different message to pass on to the exiles: “This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper”” (Jeremiah 29:4-7).

The first assignment to the church is to deliberately take its place in society, even if that society is hostile and the church is seen as an outsider. Do not withdraw behind your church walls, but take part in building up society. If you want your church to be salt and light, to add flavour and resist decay, your first priority is to be present where society is shaped, where decisions are made, where people live and work together. Just as God told His people through Jeremiah that they were in Babel because God led them there, the church, too, must realise that it must play its part right where it is located, here and now. You are not where you are by accident; God has a plan, through His church He wants to do something in this village or town. That explains this appeal to the Israelites in Babel and to the church

‌in its place: take part in building up society.

The most important instrument at the church’s disposal in all of this is prayer. Pray to the Lord for the village or city to which he has led you. Pray for those governing it, pray for its population. Every believer knows that if you pray for something or someone, your heart will be moved with compassion for that person or situation. If you pray for a city, you will begin to love and serve that city. God commands us to “seek the peace and prosperity of the city”. A congregation that desires to add flavour will only see that desire fulfilled if it genuinely cares about the peace and prosperity of its city, or village, and those living in it. This sincere concern will lead you as a church to seek ways of serving the community, combatting evil and promoting good.

The Bible shows us what it means to do good in a key passage of Scripture that can also help the church to fulfil its role as salt of the earth and light of the world. It is a passage in which the prophet Micah answers the question of the people of Israel as to what they must do to serve and honour God. The answer is clear: “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). This is a clear programme for every believer – as well as for every fellowship of believers, every church. A servant attitude towards God and a desire to give him first place in all you do as a church will lead you to act justly. This means that every person is taken seriously. Whether people are entrepreneurs or labourers, men or women, young or old, rich or poor – each one is equally important, equally precious, equally entitled to genuine attention. This is what we commit ourselves to as a church in our town or city. And it requires us to be faithful, too. The Hebrew word used in Micah has a special reference to defending the rights of those who cannot defend themselves. It means having an eye for forgotten groups, or vulnerable people. This is our God-given task as believers and as a church. This is how we are to be salt, adding flavour and resisting decay, and light in the dark. This is what makes the church of Christ visible and relevant.

‌Another Bible passage in which Jesus outlines the task of the church is the parable of the good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37. The message here is that whoever crosses our path is our neighbour, and that we are to open our hearts and hands to them, even if they are people we would prefer to avoid. It is precisely in such situations that the Bible’s golden rule applies: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). The Samaritan in the story told by Jesus did what he could, even incurring costs, out of compassion for the man he found lying by the roadside. Jesus ends the parable with these words: “Go and do likewise” (Luke 10:37). As a church we must not turn a blind eye to the needs of people around us, but instead help them on their feet and on their way. This is the servant attitude God wants us to develop, this is how the church can truly show itself to be the body of Christ on earth.

‌Chapter 5

The witnessing church

The church’s outward orientation involves two aspects: serving and witnessing. If as a church we only serve and do good works, without ever explaining why we want to serve those around us, we miss out on an opportunity to share Christ’s love for us and for others. Serving without witnessing is a missed opportunity, while witnessing without serving is just hollow phrases! The two belong together. Sometimes a conversation or testimony will start things off, in other situations an act of service will be the trigger. But the one cannot do without the other.

Witnessing

Witnessing, in addition to serving, is a key word for the church. After His resurrection, Jesus said to His disciples: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). A short while later, at His ascension, He said: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8). The church is to be a witnessing church and its testimony is to be clear. It is the testimony of John the Baptist and of Jesus: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 4:17). When we testify about Jesus, we testify to sin and grace, being lost and getting saved, being inwardly sick and receiving healing, moving from spiritual death to life. As a church we can present this message in many ways, but the core must never be hidden.

Paul, who shared the gospel wherever he journeyed, offers us a good example of witnessing. In Romans 1, He explains this compulsion to testify: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile” (Romans 1:16). So the heart of his testimony is the gospel of Jesus.

A good example is the sermon Peter delivered on the Day of Pentecost. He testified to the cross and the resurrection of Jesus

‌without hesitating to tell his listeners, the people right in front of him, that they were responsible for Jesus’ crucifixion. “When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” Peter replied, “Repent and be baptised, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins” (Acts 2:37-38). His radical message evoked a radical response: that very day, 3,000 people were baptised. Our testimony certainly does not always get a positive response like that. Sometimes we meet with ridicule, or outright hostility. But we must not let this stop us from placing Jesus at the very centre of our testimony.

When Jesus sent out his disciples to testify about Him in Matthew 10, he warned them extensively about what they were to expect as His witnesses: “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). In a hostile society, a witnessing church is vulnerable. The right attitude in witnessing involves choosing the right moments, people and places. A snake waits and watches, too, before it strikes. At the same time, we must remain innocent and naive, like a dove. If we feel an inner compulsion to witness, we must simply do it! If you feel a desire to share about Jesus here and now, do not hold back. Seize every opportunity God gives you. So don’t be foolish or reckless, but don’t lose yourself in preparing strategies and plans to go out and witness either.

Jesus warns us as His witnessing church that we will be persecuted because of our testimony. The Greek word for witness is martyrion. A martyr is a witness who has paid a price for his testimony. But Jesus adds something else to the warning He gives every witnessing believer and every witnessing church: “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:29-30). The vulnerable sheep facing the wolves have just one defence: the good Shepherd!

‌A very important guideline to follow in witnessing as a church is that we testify only of what we ourselves have heard, seen and experienced in our walk with Jesus. A witness is someone who was there when something happened and is so full of it that he wants to talk about it to other people, so that they might experience it,too. Witnessing as a church, therefore, is not a matter of dryly reciting the truths of the Bible, but rather of weaving in your own story with Jesus to show others that He is inviting them to follow Him, too. Remind yourself of what He means to you and share that joy of walking with God when you talk about the faith with unbelievers.

Finally, sharing about your life with God is a great responsibility, because it means people will scrutinize your walk and talk. Rarely will they take you at your word; their interest will not be aroused until they see that you really practice what you preach. Paul called the church of Corinth “a letter from Christ” (2 Corinthians 3:3). Most people will not immediately start reading the Bible, they will first read the person who has told them about it, the witness, or the witnessing church. We can only truly be church that points to Jesus if our walking and talking, and the way we treat each other, demonstrate that we are indeed full of Jesus. If the church practices what it preaches, God can use it mightily. Through its testimony and service, He will build his kingdom.

‌Chapter 6

The structure of the church

In the previous chapters we looked at the church’s dual orientation – the inward orientation of worshipping God and having fellowship together, and the outward orientation of serving and witnessing to those around us. In order to fulfil this dual assignment properly, we need a supporting structure. So how do you organise the church in such a way that its structure will help the church members to perform their task towards God, each other and the world around them?

If we look at how Jesus did this during His time on earth, we see that He always interacted with people on three levels. He frequently addressed large crowds, He took time for personal encounters, but his primary focus was on a small group of twelve disciples. These three angles can be very helpful to us as a church, too.

Worship services and house groups

It is important for the church to come together as a whole in worship. The worship service is the place where we can worship God together as well as being encouraged and receiving teaching. The primary goal of these larger meetings is for us to worship God together and to listen to the preaching of his word. Jesus also had large meetings like this, when the crowds followed him and he explained the principles of God´s kingdom to them. This is a form of meeting in which the preaching and teaching does not involve conversation. The emphasis is on receiving the teaching or encouragement God wants to give us. When these meetings are over, the church members all return to their own homes and families.

This explains why central meetings or worship services alone will never suffice for a church, unless it is a small home church. But even a home church, when its numbers grow to 30 or 40, is too big for intensive sharing and caring. It is important for us to observe how the first church combined central worship services with smaller get-

‌togethers at home. In Acts 2, the model of the first church is clearly outlined: “Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts” (Acts 2:46). So they were familiar with the two sides of church life: the collective worship services at the temple and the small groups at home.

House groups, or cell groups

House groups, or cell groups, have two important functions in the church: teaching and different levels of caring. As far as teaching is concerned, the small setting of the house group gives participants opportunity to share with each other what they heard in the sermon. The house group is the place for discovering how we can put into practice the Biblical message presented in the worship service. In a house group you can think about the implications of the message together and help each other apply it in everyday life. House groups, following up on the preaching in the worship service, are the best place for teaching in the church.

The second function of house groups is caring. In the small setting of a house group, participants can genuinely be a part of one another’s lives. Just as a child is raised up towards maturity in the small setting of the family, we develop spiritual maturity in a small house group. This setting offers room for questioning, searching and sharing. It is the place where we provide basic pastoral care for one another, where we are aware of one another’s needs and where together we can look after each other. It is also the place where you can pray for others and others can pray for you: more than most other settings, a small house group, in which you share your joys and sorrows, offers room for personal intercession. This is why it is important that there is plenty of opportunity for prayer in your house group. The house group is thus like a nuclear family within the church’s wider circle of extended family.

It is difficult to say exactly how big a house group should be. The important thing is that it must be big enough to allow you to give different members different tasks, and small enough for the

‌members to grow close and to genuinely care for one another. Generally, a small group within the wider church should consist of about 10 to 15 adults. That is not including the children.

‌Chapter 7

Leadership in the church

In the first part of The Pastors’ Manual we looked at the leadership role that every pastor has. In this last chapter we will focus mainly on the organisational side of this leadership.

When it comes to church leadership, one of the basic principles laid down in the Bible is that church leadership is always shared leadership. Servant leadership means shared leadership! We see this clearly in Acts 6:1-7. It is wonderful to note that the apostles didn’t step forward and solve the problem between two groups of believers, but instead gathered all the believers together to look for a wise way of dealing with the situation together. “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables”, they said (Acts 6:2).

They did not mean that preaching is more important than serving food, but that the latter was not their calling. They had been called to preach and to pray and the other work was to be left to people called in that direction. The twelve apostles then appointed seven deacons to take over the food distribution. These deacons, they said, must be “known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom”, meaning that they had to be both spiritual and practical. The church agreed and chose seven men. Among them were Philip, who was already well-known, and Stephen.

The principle the disciples demonstrated here is that not everyone has to do everything in the church. God calls each church member into his service, giving each person gifts to serve him and the church. Preachers are not the only ones with a calling; believers performing other tasks have been called by God as well. Neither is one task more important than any other! We learn from the Jesus’ parable of the bags of gold that what matters is not how many gifts or tasks you have, but what you do with what God has given you (Matthew 25:14- 30). Look what happened after the apostles and the church in Jerusalem decided to delegate tasks to different members: “So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased

‌rapidly” (Acts 6:7).

Five ministries

This means that the pastor should never have the sole responsibility for leading the church. Paul mention elders several times – and always in the plural. The church is to be led by a team of people who have been called to this task, who have the right gifts for it and who together can take care of the entire church. One might preach, another might lead the pastoral work, a third might lead in providing practical support.

In Ephesians 4, Paul mentions one of these leadership teams, listing five ministries that should be represented: “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up” (Ephesians 4:11-12). The way Paul describes this shows us that he is not just talking about the church of Ephesus, but rather presenting a model of how Jesus wants to organise and build his church. This means that in our churches we must seek to identify individual members who together have these five gifts. Together they can set up and run the church according to God’s will. So what kind of people are they?

1. Apostle
   The apostle is the one who plants the church. As it grows more mature, he moves on to set up a new church or ministry. He is often the linking pin between the local church and other churches, sometimes even in other countries. An apostle is often a person passing through in the church, a pioneer who starts things off in God´s kingdom, mobilises people for Jesus, and then moves on.
2. Prophet
   The prophet sees to it that the church remains faithful to God and to its calling in the world. The prophet is a defender of an upright relationship with God and calls people to obedience, he keeps them alert. Prophets have a strong sense of justice and are quick to sense when things are being done with wrong motives.
3. ‌Evangelist
   The evangelist is the person who in a very natural way can touch people with the gospel of Jesus Christ. He easily connects with people and cannot stop talking about the new life that he has received and that is available to others. He introduces new people to the church and makes other people enthusiastic about Jesus.
4. Pastor, or shepherd
   he shepherd´s primary focus is on the spiritual wellbeing and growth of church members. He helps church members to care for one another and to be there for one another. A shepherd sets a good example in these areas himself.
5. Teacher

The teacher is the one who by studying the Bible and other related books presents new insights and clear teaching in order to help the church grow in knowledge and wisdom. He helps church members grow in their walk with God step by step.

These five kinds of leadership are present in every congregation, but sometimes we have to look for them, or to make people aware of gifts they have already received. These five gifts together enable the church as a whole to “grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). These gifts are not reserved exclusively for men; God gives gifts to all believers, including the women in your church. Make sure that in dividing tasks in the church you do not rob them of the opportunity to use their gifts for God’s kingdom.

Sometimes these five gifts are present within the group of elders, but not necessarily. What matters is that the church offers room for each type of leader to serve. Actively seek these people out and give them a place in your congregation in which their gifts and calling will blossom.

A church, organised in this biblical way, will receive the blessing of worshipping God, living as a true unity, serving the world and testifying about Jesus abundantly!

The Pastors’ Manual

In this Pastors’ Manual author Ron van der Spoel brings together twenty years of experience as a senior pastor in churches in The Netherlands and over 10 years of experience in teaching more than a thousand pastors in Africa, South‐East Asia, and the Middle East. Most of these pastors live and work in the context of persecution and poverty.

Asked how he came to the structure and content of this Pastors’ Manual, pastor Ron van der Spoel answered: “Thinking and praying about how to teach and encourage pastors around the world, I felt the Holy Spirit pointing out to me the words that Jethro speaks to his son‐in‐law Moses. Moses leads the people of Israel through the desert to the promised land. He sees that Moses is leading this large group of people all by himself and that both Moses and the people wear themselves out. Then Jethro gives Moses five pieces of advice in order to lead the people of God in a sound way to their destiny. It is these five pieces of advice that form the five parts of this Pastors’ Manual.”

The aim of this Pastors’ Manual is not to give a complete and comprehensive practical theology. What this Manual does is give some Biblical and practical insight into the five fields every pastor works in.